The Gothsicles

- Unbekannt in Deutschland
  
  Jetzt auf der Bühne
  Die Electro-Piraten
  Die grossten Streber der Vereinigten Staaten
  Im USA sind alle da bevor der Show beginnt
  Aber da in Deutschland weiss niemand wer wir sind
  
  Unbekannt in Deutschland
  
  Wir haben Flüge bezahlt
  Und die Sprache gelernt.
  Und spielen jetzt an einem Ort,
  So weit entfernt
  Vielleicht nicht sofort beim WGT
  Mehr so Parkplatz KDW
  
  Unbekannt in Deutschland
- 4 Fat Guys
  
  electronic hockey in the 1980s
  balances dexterity and heavyweights these
  avatars of alacrity
  and physical prowess
  are available in averages
  of swiftness and power
  
  skate right
  fist fight
  
  four fat guys
  four skinny guys
  four medium
  
  or two fat guys
  and two skinny guys
  or combinations thereof
  
  four fat guys
  four skinny guys
  or four in between
  
  differing degrees of strength and speed
  will make up the team
  
  we’re running out of lyrics at a minute 30 in
  because the premise of this song is embarrassingly thin
  in just a couple of beats, we’ll bring back the chorus
  with the middle guy, the speedy guy and also the tortoise
  
  skate right
  fist fight
  skate quick
  high sticks
  
  4 fat guys
  win every time
- This Is What The Brujah Clan Will Do To All You Gangrels
  
  this is what the brujah clan will do to all you gangrels
- Straight Up Otter Time
  
  Peace out, land
  I’m leaving this scene
  Count me amongst the submarine
  ‘Cause the scientific name of my best friends is
  Pronounced as “Lontra canadensis”
  
  Let’s see some friends of mine
  The underwater kind
  From cool to hotter climes
  Straight up otter time
  
  Let’s see some friends of mine
  The underwater kind
  Swim through a lotta slime
  Straight up otter time
  
  I’m hanging with these dudes with subaqueous skills
  And insulated coats for the subaqueous chills
  In colors including white, brown, black and grey
  Hold on to my hand so that you don’t drift away
  
  Let’s see some friends of mine
  The underwater kind
  From cool to hotter climes
  Straight up otter time
  
  Let’s see some friends of mine
  The underwater kind
  From the salty brine
  Straight up otter time
  
  Let’s see some friends of mine
  The underwater kind
  From cool to hotter climes
  Straight up otter time
  
  Let’s see some friends of mine
  The underwater kind
  Skateboarding's not a crime
  Straight up otter time
  
  Their eyes are shielded from the lake
  By membranes that nictitate
  Their habitats tend to be varied:
  Swamplands, woodlands, estuaries
  
  They inhabit rocky shores
  And are mostly carnivores
  But sometimes eat aquatic plants
  C’mon everybody, do the otter dance
  
  Do the otter dance
  
  Let’s see some friends of mine
  The underwater kind
  From cool to hotter climes
  Straight up otter time
  
  Let’s see some friends of mine
  The underwater kind
  We’re throwing rotten limes
  Straight up otter time
  
  Let’s see some friends of mine
  The underwater kind
  From cool to hotter climes
  Straight up otter time
  
  Let’s see some friends of mine
  The underwater kind
  I’ve taught a paradigm
  Straight up otter time
- Magnetic Shield
  
  amongst these mountains
  you decide to battle me
  i’m buying bullets
  while you buy all the batteries
  i think i’m putting you upon the path of danger
  but you got the power ‘cause i can’t see your angle
  
  (your) Magnetic shield
  You keep me out with an electric field
  (your) Magnetic shield
  You turn back my attack with an electrical field
  
  i’m arming ordnance to elicit MIRV damage
  you respond with funky bombs that multiply, so i savage
  ly lock the target and adjust for wind direction
  but i did not calculate the force of your deflection
  
  (your) Magnetic shield
  You keep me out with an electric field
  (your) Magnetic shield
  You turn back my attack with an electrical field
  
  (your) Magnetic shield
  You keep me out with an electric field
  (your) Magnetic shield
  You repel the incoming shells with the nuclear yield
- Multi-Laired (feat. Toril Lindqvist of Alice in Videoland)
  
  you don’t have a prayer
  
  we’re multi-laired
  
  you’ll be ensnared
  
  we’re multi-laired
  
  i’ve got a tomb of horrors and hall of doom
  a technodrome and a panic room
  secret passageways, ramparts and a moat
  and all the treasure is trapped, so i know that you don’t
  have a prayer
  
  i’ve got a black pyramid and a neutral zone
  with a skull motif on my iron throne
  and all the underwater exits are guarded by boats
  you can’t escape through the vents, so i know that you don’t
  have a prayer
  
  chicagooooo
  
  one hideout has the hand grenades
  one has got the garden maze
  one's equipped with missle turrets
  one's guarded by abyssal demons
  not a single reason to be scared
  there's more than one, we’re multi-laired
- Sun Shy
  
  dragging on throughout the day
  all my strength is sapped away
  i just wanna hit the hay
  and stray from the waking world
  
  but when it's dark, I come alive
  all my systems come online
  the night is when I energize
  and rise when the day’s adjourned
  
  i defy the nuclei that strike the sky from space
  when the sun turns off we
  fire up the coffee
  and the synthesizers
  and cubase
  
  we stay up late
  and we percolate
  and we oscillate
  
  in the lightless nightshift
  
  we shun the sun
  
  i’m justified
  just stepping outside
  in cimmerian skies
  
  in the lightless nightshift
  
  we shun the sun
  
  don’t wanna dominate the world
  instead, I’ll take the zoo
  and party with the polar bears and the kangaroos
  ‘cause all the coolest critters congregate nocturnally
  and I’m the coolest cat in town, so they’ve all heard of me
  
  but let’s submerge when we converge to escape this cruel candescence
  ‘cause i don’t need the sun to see with bioluminescence
- +8 XP
  
  I don’t know if you recall, but I remember it well
  We were in a random chat room on irc
  I sent you some of my music over the DSL
  You said it was cool and that meant a lot to me
  ‘Cause five years later, we’re both rocking the scene
  Discussing arpeggiators in festival green
  Rooms and
  I don’t know if i can thank you guys enough
  ‘Cause i only got this far by studying your stuff
  
  Very important to me
  +8 XP
  Providing protocol, developmentally
  +8 XP
  
  Analyzing structures and processes
  +8 XP
  
  And when the beat erupts,
  I level up
  
  +8
  +8 xp
  
  Albums and remixes each better than the last ‘cause you said your favorite track was the next one
  Turning up the bass (“base” GET IT?) with every dancefloor smash beyond a ten like it was hexadecimal
  This is not a call to action to reform the band
  I understand how it gets when you need to move on
  But i do think it’s worth
  Expressing in verse
  That i think you guys made a bunch of really great songs
- Loktwarr Danalora
  
  conjuring conduit for causing metamorphosis
  arcane catalyst for this corporeal contortionist
  altering appearances, although the change is torturous
  with my might & magic, we’ll penetrate these fortresses
- Mermaids vs. Manticores (feat. Sirenne)
  
  first vampires fought the werewolves
  then demons and gargoyles fought frankenstein
  now prepare for the next epic battle
  of the mythological kind
  
  hominin head
  leonine torso
  manticores abhor remorse no
  one escapes when we take flight
  our tails are armed with stalactites
  
  mermaids
  kill with a kiss
  drag you down into the abyss
  
  manticores
  mermaids
  face two new monster brigades
  
  mermaids
  manticores
  phase three of the monster wars
  
  phase three of the monster wars
  
  phase three of the monster wars
  
  beautiful bait
  for a maritime trap
  these iron maidens
  are on the attack
  succumb to the siren song of the sea
  less S.O.S., more R.I.P.
  
  manticores won’t fall for
  your high seas harassment
  especially the scorpion variant
- From Amanda
  
  This one’s for you, Seth!
  
  It's from Amanda!
  
  She started hitting the club to hear you spin
  Then you ran a game where she was the paladin and
  Now your lady wants to make an inquiry
  And got the best band in town to do so musically
  
  A question for Seth
  From Amanda
  Will you marry me?
  
  Be my Batman
  My Green Lantern
  Will you marry me?
  
  This is a for-real marriage proposal!
  
  You lift my spirits like a levitation spell
  I’ll defend you from the bugbears and ne’er-do-wells
  This party only needs me and my counterpart
  No thief required
  ‘Cause you already stole my heart
  
  A question for Seth
  From Amanda
  Will you marry me?
  
  The song is done now
  So what’s the answer
  Will you marry me?
- One Of The Last Bands Ever To Play Resistanz Festival (We're #104)
  
  the circle is complete
  now we are the masters
  ‘cause when we repeat
  we’ll be one of the last ones
  to ever rock industrial light and magic
  comin’ back stronger than you could possibly imagine
  
  we’re number 1
  hundred and 4
  all aboard for the ocean-floor troubadours
  
  we’re number 1
  hundred and 4
  one more resistanz, for then they’ll be no more
  still #1
  still #1
  
  a page from the story of the origin
  evolving into auditory champions
  to achieve final form inside corporation
  thank you, sheffield (especially phyll and leighton)
  
  we’re number 1
  hundred and 4
  all aboard for the ocean-floor troubadours
  
  we’re number 1
  I'm hundred and 4
  one more resistanz, for then they’ll be no more
  still #1
  still #1
  
  we were #1
  we were #1
- Chica Vampiro
  
  (Rodney Anonymous and MC Lars wrote these.)
  
  Saturday, one o'clock
  I turn the TV to Mondo Fox
  There's a show I've got to watch
  There's a show that just plain rocks
  A high school girl named Daisy O'Brien
  Who's also a vampire; I ain't lyin'
  The acting is better than Robert De Niro
  It's time to watch
  
  Chica Vampiro
  
  Everybody did a grave, dig a grave
  
  Reruns of Buffy can be OK
  But I just can't watch them every day
  Not when there's so much at stake
  So drop that hero - get with a zero
  It's time to watch
  
  Chica Vampiro
  
  [MC LARS]
  Chica Vampiro, me gusta mucho
  Telenovela, amor y justo
  Colombian hit, ninos pequenos
  Scaring their parents and haunting their sueños
  Max de la Torre puede bailar
  cuando Ulises O’Brian is far
  Twilight it’s not, but still rocks the spot
  Chica Vampiro, voy a mirar a lot
- Death Touch
  
  the army's on its way
  to stop your kumite
  but you must qualify
  for honor in your master's eye
  
  i've seen you take a hit
  and even kick the splits
  but entry is not based on kicks
  you must first make tricks with bricks
  
  be
  the best you can be
  you've arrived
  now fight to survive
  
  death touch
  don't worry, it won't hurt much
  after going numb from being punched in the nuts
  
  superior to the one inch punch
  piledriver and camel clutch
  
  now you’ve made it in
  the tournament begins
  he says that you are next
  then caps it with a flex of pecs
  
  and then that very guy
  throws powder in your eyes
  have a flashback to be reminded
  how to fight when you’ve been blinded
  
  be
  the best you can be
  you've arrived
  now break the record time
- On Another Plane
  
  you and me make a maze
  we deconstruct with a crane
  we set the whole world ablaze
  on another plane

Super Scary Action Figure (I Want To Eat Your Brain)

on the shelves of powers comics
way up in green bay
i found a guy that i’d been looking for since back in the day
a pliable maniacal alien creature
with a slimey living web and the power of speech
eradicate the spider-man
is what we’re gonna do
i want to grab you by the arms and legs and tear you in two
i want to get inside your head like a psychic stain
i want to
i want to

i want to eat your brain
i want to eat your brain
i want to eat your brain
i want to eat your brain
severed at the head and rent in twain
a doppelganger’s dead with disconnected remains
i want to eat your brain

monochromatic monster
from outer space
shooting stuff out my hands
and saying words out my face
actually they come from a box on my back
with color coded buttons, so you can keep track
of all the scary soundbytes and phrases i speak
try recalling me when i knock you into next week

i want to eat your brain
i want to eat your brain
i want to eat your brain
i want to eat your brain
severed at the head and rent in twain
crack open the cranium, see what it contains
i want you to
[DIE, SPIDER-MAN]
Drop Dead, Squid Face!

rising up 'cause the stars say it's time
sinking back at the sight of the sign

waking when the dreams start to change
death dies when the aeons are strange

DROP DEAD, SQUID FACE!
Ultrasweaty

ten minutes into the set
and we’re already drenched
from being covered in sweat
because we get so intense

oh yeah, we cook up beats for breakfast
then burn those calories
so you can feel the wetness
coming from the energy

we got on beverage on
so get your body ready
we get ultrasweaty

we’re eating energon
so keep the rhythm steady
we get ultrasweaty

twelve minutes into the set
and we get waterlogged
from being covered in sweat
from the hair of the dog

oh yeah we cook up beats for dinner
then store up the power
and release it all on stage
in a gothsicle shower
I Sniffed the Glove (vs. Cyferdyne)

Playing Sheffield’s Corporation
On stage set to thrill
With PCP Principle
And Cyferdyne on the bill
But the Cyfer guys needed
An olfactory lift
Went back into green room
To find out that the glove was sniffed

I sniffed the glove

We sing serious songs
About serious stuff
We're a serious band
Making jokes about spuff

We played with The Gothsicles
Down at corporation
They said that we could sniff the glove
So we did, no hesitation.

Soaking up the sweat of my industrial stank
With a scent to bowl you over like a dinosaur tank
Taking damage over time from the senses assailed
When poisonous vapors
From the glove are inhaled

It's so intoxicating
Drink it in like River Phoenix
We only wrote the last line
So that we could say the word “dicks”

And the stink doesn’t stop
With what I wear on my hand
Because I am known far and wide
Throughout the land
As a natural resource
Of critical mass
‘Cause I can power a city
With methane gas

I just need to quickly go to the toilet
Don't worry, I'll be back
Wait, what, we-we're on now?
UH! This is Cyferdyne and The Gothsicles!
DO IT! DO IT NOOOOOOW!!!!

You should have told me that it smelt so nasty
I sniffed so hard I need a rhinoplasty
You gave me all those drinks and then you took advantage
Teasing us with, that Chicago meat sandwich
Feeling violated, feeling totally used
With all the time we've spent a part, we've all got the blues
We think that you don't love us
We think that you don't care
We post your pics on Facebook and you don't even share

Gonna go back to England
And then I'm gonna getcha
Your vocals are like Hocico
Beat up by Ke$ha
Your rhyme is in the shell
Mine are totally ample
10 minutes left of Watchmen
That you didn't sample

Eye make-up, ties and suits
And album covers stolen from Crysis 2
Autotuned to insane level
Feel the burn, you dorks forever

You spit rhymes like Shakespeare
But a Shakespeare who likes toys
Is your sound original? Or a rip off Beastie Boys?
Too busy saving mermaids, or getting drunk cuts
You drop beats like a juggler, who totally sucks

You've got thick thumbs, like fat girls thighs
Nintendo masturbation will damage your eyes
We've run out of trash, ‘cause you’re such a nice guy
But F.Y.I. 8 Bit died.

Also, just for your information, we don't use auto-tune at all, so thank
you

I sniffed the glove and I liked it
The smell of your sweaty fingers

I sniffed the glove just to try it
And I think I just don't mind it
We're English for god’s sake!
Give Me One More Chance to Get the Hi-Score, Then We Can Go

you know we played all the games in this vintage arcade
like golden axe and streets of rage
but i got pac-man’s high score in my sights
one more thing to do tonight

one more
high score
shot and if not,
baby, let me get the door

one more
high score
try & if i die
we’ll come back another time

one more
high score
shot and if not,
baby, let me get the door

one more
high score
attempt
it’s intense
baby, loan me 25 cents

gimme 25

we played heavy barrel in two player mode
but arcade style contra doesn't take the code

we hit the pinball version of doctor who
and then annihilated at street fighter ii

and we destroyed at rampage, got all the way to des moines
then ran out of change 'cause the thing ran out of coins

be the benefactor of this ascent

"U&I" at the top of the list
is my intent
Moon Knight Is Cool

i love cosmic adventures and high powered endeavors
but the raddest stuff in town is going down at street level
not a huge hulking bruiser or lightning bolt blaster
just a dude with an attitude
sporting alabaster

pick a crescent from your spine
(moon knight is cool)
you can see him coming by design
(moon knight is cool)
vengeance has a new redeemer
(moon knight is cool)
broken arms and shattered femurs
(moon knight is cool)

he’s got tons of money
and a sidekick who’s french and
he once took on nefaria including the henchmen
if you look at the contents of my bookshelf
you’ll find it’s got more issues than marc spector’s mental health

pick a crescent from your spine
you can see him coming by design
vengeance has a new enforcer
broken arms on broken torsos

pick a crescent from your derrière
you can see him coming from everywhere
vengeance has a new avatar
doling out the moon shaped forehead scars

helicopters
and bolo guns
it’s like 3 batmans for the price of one
‘cause the best party’s always on the b-list
spinning some nunchucks
and throwing a spiked fist

moon knight is cool
(leaving fat lips every lunar eclipse)
moon knight is cool
(covered in corporate blood and werewolf drool)

all beware the fist of khonshu
you could read something else, but you wouldn’t want to
Black T-Shirt (NIN cover)

i buy my black shirts from h&m
they’re 10 bucks a pop, i got like 20 of them
but american apparel always gets me the sex
‘cause those tight black t-shirts hella show off my pecs

black
t-shirt
the cornerstone of all industrial merch
black
t-shirt
it always look clean ‘cause you can’t see the dirt

black summer cuts and v-necks
and polyblend weaves
i had the lady at the dry cleaners take off the sleeves
being that i’m totally ripped
try to get me in a white shirt and i’ll give you the slip

and i’ll stock up on the 3 packs from calvin klein too
‘cause three for under thirty is a good value
on a
Sword Cane

old man, i don’t wanna fight you
there’s a blade housed in your walking stick
i can tell that your frailty is fake
your reflexes are much too quick
i don’t know if you’re a super villain
or a stately menacing guy
but i know that if i battle you
i’ll get a puncture wound in my thigh

you have a sword cane

old man, it’s obvious
that you’re adept at that weapon you wield
but i surmise that your strength is in surprise
for the weapon itself is concealed
Cthulhu Fhartwagon

my brother lends me his van
when we go on the road
where we get hella bad gas
from drinking beer by the buttload
we decided that the vehicle
was called the fartwagon
because we leave it stinky
and horrible like dagon

there’s tons of weird stuff in my brother’s van
a single high heel and an empty paint can
a bass amp wrapped in my parents old sheets
and 50 cdrs of super crappy hip hop beats

iä iä
a van full of farts
the steering wheel locks up
it takes an hour to start
iä iä
cthulhu fhartwagon
equal parts octopus, toyota, dragon

here’s more weird stuff
that we found in the van
a glass with the inscription: “all american sports fan”
coloring books and six bucks in change
the mythos of this van has made me deranged

more numerous than young from the black goat of the woods
are the various containers of consumable goods
like a terrifying vista of reality
a mobile shrine to our gastronomic malady

iä iä
a van full of farts
the steering wheel locks up
it takes an hour to start
iä iä
cthulhu fhartwagon
equal parts octopus, toyota, dragon

iä iä
a van full of farts
the steering wheel locks up
it takes an hour to start
iä iä
cthulhu fhartwagon
equal parts octopus, toyota, dragon

iä iä
it smells super bad
abdul alhazred took a whiff
and then he went mad

iä iä
cthulhu fhartwagon
throw the keyboards
and the green cable bag in
Bloodlust Software Was Awesome

strip mall
milwaukee
a shareware rack
a 3.5 inch floppy encased in shrink wrap

took out my wallet and said
here, i’ll take this
then proceeded to install it on my 386

switched from expanded to extended memory
and after sorting out the RAM I see
a digital display of unspeakable gore
hook up the modem to the phone because I gotta get more

we must
knock the noggins around

adjust
the screwed up settings for sound

blades thrust
leaving limbs on the ground

flesh by the pound

encrusted in the lust

quit to dos
and load up a game

then toss
about heads of the maimed

the last boss
is a takar named staine

the threat is sussed
encrusted in bloodlust

my addiction to their output grew like a virus
‘cause they were weird and maladjusted just like i was
with cool enemies and characters by the dozen
the games were for PC, but the content sure wasn't
i’m not even talkin’ ‘bout the emulators
despite them being as great as they were
studies can’t confirm any effects on consumers
but I grew up all gothic with a sick sense of humor
This Club is Closed (feat. Angelspit)

this time i’m gonna use my powers for good
and provide a public service to the neighborhood
since i am rather adept
at clearing the floor
it makes sense for me to tell you that it’s time to find the door

the club is closed
the club is closed
exit the premises
the club is closed
the club is closed
leave the property

exit the premises
this club is closed

we hit verse two and you’re still here
so stop with the dancing and finish your beer
‘cause now we’ve reached the last call
for you to hook up
but you can’t get it on in here
so it’s time to leave the club

the club is closed
the club is closed
exit the premises
the club is closed
the club is closed
leave the property

exit the premises
take it from me
you don’t want the assist
Code Thief

You're stealing data on which to subsist
You’re not a hero, you're just a plagiarist
I've know your game
You’re a code thief

Pilfered programming is how you exist
You’re not a hero, you're just a plagiarist
I've know your game
You’re a code thief

I've seen your code and the security’s weak
You’re gushing bubble lead out of a memory leak
I've know your game
You’re a code thief

You couldn't pass a computer class at DeVry
Your code sucks ass and that's the reason why
You take all your tricks from the guys dismantle
What happens when you reach exceptions you can't handle

Your bios protocols belong in a trash can
Forget the guy with sticky bombs, you’re the Crash Man

You're stealing data on which to subsist
You’re not a hero, you're just a plagiarist
I've know your game
You’re a code thief

Pilfered programming is how you exist
You’re not a hero, you're just a plagiarist
I've know your game
You’re a code thief

I've seen your code and the security’s weak
You’re gushing bubble lead out of a memory leak
I've know your game
You’re a code thief

code thief x2

Incorporate the info in your core
Hope it won't corrupt your data store
But It changes the color of your carapace
That's one hell of an interface

You’ve fought Dr. Wiley so many times, it’s like the jail cell door is rotating
Maybe if you got it right on the first try, you wouldn’t need all the updating

You're stealing data on which to subsist
You’re not a hero, you're just a plagiarist
I've know your game
You’re a code thief

Pilfered programming is how you exist
You’re not a hero, you're just a plagiarist
I've know your game
You’re a code thief

I've seen your code and the security’s weak
You’re gushing bubble lead out of a memory leak
I've know your game
You’re a code thief

code thief x2
Show Respect to Aquaman
Make way for the underwater royalty
King of Atlantis and the Seven Seas
Sometimes sporting a beard, sometimes clean shaven
He's the one you call when the day needs savin'
Who cares if all his powers are water based?
He can punch evil right in the face
Who cares if he occasionally rides a seahorse
When the ocean's in trouble, there's only one recourse
Show respect to Aquaman
Super cool, super powered and in demand
'Cause every time a crazy situation gets drastic he
Communicates with sea life telepathically
Aquaman
Aquaman
You only think he's useless if you're stuck on the land
Black Manta, Fisherman, and Ocean Master
All get put down when he swims into action
Who cares if he likes to hang out with walruses
His orange scale armor is the peak of flawlessness
Who cares if he can talk to fishes
He's got bulletproof skin and that trident is vicious
Show respect to Aquaman
He’s so hardcore, he cut off his own hand
It got replaced with a prosthetic harpoon
But they retconned that in the New 52
3rd Original Kinetik Track (Americans on Rev)
our toronto debut, care of isn
getting ready for the show when someone hands me a can
or maybe it was more like a clear plastic bottle
can’t remember ‘cause i took a sip and then i went full throttle
at first i’m like “hey, where’s the party at?”
at then i’m like “i think i’m going cardiac”
i don’t know how long canada’s had this shit
but that night was the first night that we’d heard of it
americans on rev
chicagoans out their heads
someone put a fifth of bacardi
in my redbull
the hangover is dreadful
detroit diesel
skylight glare and aliceffeckt
all put on awesome sets
and then we were up next
we took the stage with blue lips and shaking hands
and rocked with the force one million industrial bands
then afterwards collapsed on the floor in a mess
thanks for the ride home to ‘for all the emptiness’
a cautionary tale
to you my friend
stick with boreale
you’ll thank me in the end
americans on rev
chicagoans out their heads
someone all the alcohol
in my redbull
the hangover is dreadful

B-R-[x]-A-N
Two dudes on the scene
Tattoos of machines
Mixing Diet RC with a fifth of
Jim Beam
Jim's a cool name
But when I say "Bryan"
The ladies line up
With my code compilin'
'Cause the letters that I use
To write my name out
Are cooler than the booze
Flowin' out of the spout
I disbelieve
The rhymes you weave
Enjoy a reprieve
'Cause here's how it's gonna...
B-R-I-A-N
You spell that all messed up
When the chorus comes
You can try it again
B-R-Y-A-N
Why's it got a Y
When the I I got is better by times ten
B-R-I-A-N
You spell that all messed up
When the chorus comes
You can try it again
B-R-Y-A-N
Why's it got a Y
When the I I got is better by millions
Two syllables and three consonants
And the vowels I empower
Make lots of sense
An I and then an A
Is the one and only way
That I'll ever recognize
The spelling of the name
That's heresy
Total blasphemy
The absence of a Y is a catastrophe
Y is a vowel and consonant
Y is the letter that pays my rent
B-R-I-A-N
B-R-Y-A-N

Save Dat Mermaid
No police
Or this underwater beast
Gets both beheaded and filleted
I’ve got no idea
Who this fishy mistress is
But such is the trap I’ve laid
Your family’s captured, too
But they’ve got less to do
Than this random chick of the sea
You beat me in round one
But this is round two
And you’ll never make it to round three
Unless there’s
A yo-yo strike to take down a gangster
A snake fight, so take up the slingshot
A solo mission with no eskimo accolades
‘Til the way is clear
Save dat mermaid
Can’t find the vine down which I’m ‘sposed to climb
I have a hammer, but only on the inside
Tests of strength and of mind all serve to hide the way
But the goal is clear
Save dat mermaid
No need to be afeared
I’ll rescue you
With my scuba gear
And that cool spear shooting gun
I’m staying overnight at the Radisson
Everyone will cheer
When I rescue you with my scuba gear
You’ll be one rescued ass mermaid
And I’ll be wearing scuba gear
A yo-yo strike to take down a gangster
A snake fight, so take up the slingshot
A solo mission with no eskimo accolades
‘Til the way is clear
Save dat mermaid
Can’t find the vine down which I’m ‘sposed to climb
I have a hammer, but only on the inside
Tests of strength and of mind all serve to hide the way
But the goal is clear
Save dat mermaid
A yo-yo strike to take down a gangster
A fuckin’ snake, so boomerang the blindspot
A solo mission with no eskimo accolades
‘Til the way is clear
Save dat mermaid
Can’t find the vine down which I’m ‘sposed to climb
Slappin’ old men because it makes me feel fine
Tests of strength and of mind all serve to hide the way
But the goal is clear
Save dat mermaid
That game was fucking hard

Wearing A Star Trek Uniform, Watching Tony Lechmanksi Sleep
Ego Likeness was gonna stay at my place
I like those guys a lot
And their music is ace
Donna has a voice from outer space
And Steven has a cool beard on his face
But Dave called up
And this is what he said
"Bella Morte is crashing with you guys instead"
The band came over
And they were super cool guys
But one of them was slated for a surprise
He plays guitar for Bella Morte
And his name is Tony Lechmanski
At night I put on a Star Trek uniform
And watch the man sleep
Okay, that only happened once
‘Cause he was only at my place one time
But Tony, you’re welcome whenever
I’ll read you fan fic about Seven of Nine
He looked so precious
When he was alseep
Like a little punk rock angel
Or an itty bitty tribble
Or a baby gorn
Or a Jesus in a mangerAt one point in the night
He opened his eyes
And I thought he was gonna get mean
But I just backed into my room
And whispered "This is all a dream"
He plays guitar for Bella Morte
And his name is Tony Lechmanski
At night I put on a Star Trek uniform
And watch the man sleep
Okay, that only happened once
‘Cause he was only at my place one time
But Tony, you’re welcome whenever
We’ll write fan fic about Optimus Prime

Drunk Cuts
Drunk cuts are cuts
That you get on your hands
When you are all inebriated
They go unnoticed
Until the next morning
When's intoxication's abated
You might have tripped up some stairs
Or taken a spill
Or tried to open bottles you thought were twist-off
Or broken some glass
Or bitten a hangnail
Or punched a door because you were pissed off
Drunk cuts
Drunk cuts are cuts
You also get on your legs
If you've fallen down and scrapped up a knee
Or you might get drunk cuts
If you fall off the hood
Of the car on which you were taking a pee
Or your flesh might get seared
With demonic messages
That happens sometimes when you're possessed
And you might nick yourself
While you're buying some chocolates
For your girlfriend because she is the best
Drunk cuts

Voicebox Botox
Carnivorous beats and
Caliginous meat
Elective dentistry
Ingest the enemy
Carnivorous beats and
Caliginous meat
Devour my feet
Carnivorous beats and
Caliginous meat
A vicious enterprise
Lightly tenderized
Carnivorous beats and
Caliginous meat
Reheat the concrete
I wanna rock
I wanna
Voicebox botox

My Guy Died (Level 12 Human Sorcerer)
We were fighting some trolls
In the warrens below
Getting close to our goal
As far as I know
My dude fails a roll
And it knocks him prone
No standards, moves or minors
I was totally boned
It was a critical hit
From some little minimal shit
When I heard those little dice click
I threw a bit of a fit
Instead of a saving throw
Instead of a glancing blow
No medical skills in tow
I let my character go
My guy died
The coup de grâce came up
On the 20th sideCrit
He had
11 strength
13 con
16 dex
11 int
9 wisdom
23 charismaI play a minotaur now
My guy died
The coup de grâce came up
On the 20th side
My guy died
No death save modifiers
Could be applied
My guy died
That human saving throw bonus
Couldn’t save me this time

You Have Found the Hawk’s Claw
This wand in my hand
In this mystical land
Enchant & distract
A draconic attack
You have found the hawk’s claw
On a quest
You have found the hawk’s claw
On a quest
Time to cast a magic spell
On a chest
You have found the hawk’s claw
On a quest
Hunting down thieves
And ladies in leaves
Portals & runes
Ice arrow harpoons
You have found the hawk’s claw
On a quest
You have found the hawk’s claw
On a quest
Time to cast a magic spell
On a chest
You have found the hawk’s claw
On a quest
You have found the hawk’s claw
On a quest
You have found the hawk’s claw
On a quest
I’ve got magic skills
All the way from here to Budapest
You have found the hawk’s claw
On a quest

Wildness Acts
I'm out here getting wild like a wild baboon
Always throwing office parties in the filing room
I got a shoebox of receipts from the jet ski place
'Cause i rent jet skis like every day
Gettin' crazy all night long
In gothic clubs
Pickin' daisies with these throngs
Of panda cubs
Kevin Spacey used some tongs
In a British pub
'Cause his steak was well done
And too hot to pick up
I'm wearing wildness slacks
Committing wildness acts
I'm wearing wildness slacks
Committing wildness acts
Guilty of wildness
Guilty of acts
Guilty of wild
NES acts[whatever the hell xero is saying]
Wild to the max with wildness acts
I was experimented on by the government
They tried to turn me into a rubber gent
A rubber gent's a dude who's hella dapper
And can bend in weird ways like he's made of plastic
I'm always back stage at festivals
Getting bonkers with the bands and special guestivals
I prefer my pizza with vegetables
I got like three brain cells left inside my skull

Baby Jesus vs. Baby Genius
Two babies had a fight
In the motherfucking dirt
And punched each other in the dick
‘Til their baby nipples hurt
They had a fight

The First Band Ever to Play Resistanz Festival (We're #1)
You make a mix tape, you put the best song first
And the guy who wins the race is the one who comes in first
Even though we may not be known as well
We’re still the first band to play Resistanz Festival
We’re number one
You rent some videos, you watch the best one first
And picking kickball teams, you pick the best guy first
The Gothsicles are opening on the first night
Or late afternoon, to be technically right
We’re number one

Holy Shit, We're Playing Kinetik
Montreal's got a free for all
In the form of an EBM festival
With terror noise and power noise
And a night of old skool industrial
With food and booze and alcohol
And their beer selection is the best of all
But it looks like someone dropped the ball
'Cause this year's got The Gothsicles
Holy shit,
We're playing Kinetik
(That doesn't rhyme)
Holy shit,
We're playing Kinetik
(With Edgey, Hocico and Dive)
Vasi from Reaper thinks I look like Kurt Russell
Which I don't really get 'cause i don't look like like Kurt Russell
But I do smack hella suckers upside their face
I got hella bad gas, but I start the party in this place
Holy shit,
We're playing Kinetik
(That doesn't rhyme)
Holy shit,
We're playing Kinetik
(With Caustic, Combichrist and Dive)
Holy shit,
We're playing Kinetik
(Still doesn't rhyme)
Holy shit,
We're playing Kinetik
(With Memmaker, ADR and Dive)Holy shit,
We're playing Kinetik

On the same stage as Leaetherstrip

And your band if I missed them
Jim, Let Me Know When You Can Drink Again
I like getting wild with the occasional beer
And fly on pure grain alcohol like the Rocketeer
But then my wing man
Was taken down at random
I drink up all the Hennessey
Ya got on ya shelf
But I don't wanna do that shit all by myself
'Cause what I'm here to celebrate
Has to happen in tandem
So,Jim,
Let me know when you can drink again
'Cause we'll take it to the brink again
Extreme party stylezz
Jim,
Let me know when you can drink again
'Cause we'll take it to the brink again
Party stylezz for miles
We'll barhop Pittsburgh 'til Monday comes
Drinkin' gin and beer and Everclear and vodka and rum
And hey, since you're back on you're feet, I'll pick up the tab
And when i am sufficiently in party mode
I'll ask you some questions i've been wanting to know
Like why the fuck your band shirt has some chick getting stabbed
Party styles in this place
Party styles in this time
Everyone Should Play V:TES ('Cause Somebody's Gotta Be Worse Than Me) - feat. Ben Peal
It's our designated weeknight
Or weekend if you roll that way
I brought a couple a' beers
But save like six for me, okay?
'Cause like an adult swim
I'm always out of the pool
I got an academic hunting ground
'Cause I'm always getting schooled
I've got a history
Of playing inadmissibly
To any tournament I see
'Cause I get killed by Chimerstry
You're thinking moves ahead
I'm struggling with card text
And trying to determine
The effects of Rötshreck
It's got great group dynamics
And that keeps me coming back
Even though all I'm good at
Is the pre-game talking smack
I'll threaten you
With my brand new
Inner Circle Toreador
Then watch you pound me into the ground
With cards from '94I've got a history
Of playing inadmissibly
To any tournament I see
'Cause I get killed by progeny
You're thinking moves ahead
I'm struggling with card text
And trying to determine
Rötshreck's effects
I've got a history
Of playing inadmissibly
At every tournament I see
'Cause I get killed by Thaumaturgy
You're thinking moves ahead
I'm struggling with card text
And wondering what horrid combo
You'll throw at me next
INFL8-R
Subterranean
Exterminator
I'm witnessing you destroy
Low-res
Low-lives
With the brutal means that you employ
Incendiary
Reptilians
And those goggle-headed red round guys
Broken skin
From within
Leading to internal pressure demise Inflate
Your enemies until they
Disincorporate
Your hi-score means explode and
Annihilate
All you pursue because it's
Mr. See
Mr. Do
You're through
In these earthen tunnels
Video passageways
Only devastation to be found
No Shock G
No Humpty Hump
In this digital underground
Blood in
Blood out
Blood shooting out your eyes
Dig in
Dug out
Out of time and out of extra lives
No reset
No restart
Injected
And torn apart
Second Album Means It's Too Late to Change Your Band Name
Remember your first email address?
A memory that you might try to repress
'Cause in 2001 at juno.com
You were still known as gothicfairyprincess
And I betcha somewhere you'd wish that you'd changed
But to switch your email is a hell of a pain
Recognition of the name goes down the drain
And the whole thing holds true for band names, too
Second time around means that your shit's solidified
'Cause by the second time around the sound's by name identified
And if you ever sought to alter that, you'd find yourself denied
'Cause by the second time around you've wound the ropes by which you're tied
Second time around
It's constantly happening
Bands always regretting
The elected moniker
By which they monitor
The scene or register as their myspace thing
'Cause I've heard that Tom Shear doesn't like band name
And I've read that Fat Mike has expressed much that same
But both those bands are awesome so it's like, ya know, whatever
So yo, fuck it, "Gothsicles" forever
Second time around means that your shit's solidified
'Cause by the second time around the sound's by name identified
And if you ever sought to alter that, you'd find yourself denied
'Cause by the second time around, that appellation's bound
Second time around means that it's too late to change your band name
Amphibious Trigonometry

Monster school student bodies always seem to be diverse

With like a mummy and a zombie and a demon student nurse

And a mortician bus driver 'cause the bus is a hearse

But one type of monster always has it the worst

'Cause the werewolf guy's gig is to howl at the moon

And the vampire kid can make the ladies swoon

But you'll always wait for 3 in the afternoon

If you're the fish kid from the black lagoon

'Cause you need

Water to breathe

Can't take french 3

Amphibiously

Were you a zombie fish boy,

Well then I 'spose it wouldn't matter

As the undead do not require a breathing apparatus

But I've never seen a revenant complete a swan dive

Fish men maybe monsters, but they're clearly alive

Can't be a football star like frankenstein

The impact would surely crack your fragile spines

Can't be in the school play with the opera phantom nerds

'Cause your aquatic vocal chords can't ennuciate words

Can't get a steady girl or friend with benefits

'Cause no lady likes a guy who's been a fish

But as marine based life, you can still take pride

In fearing no swirly or bubbler ride

'Cause you need

Water to breathe

Can't take trigonometry

Amphibiously

Were you a zombie fish boy,

Well then I 'spose it wouldn't matter

As the undead do not require a breathing apparatus

But I've never seen a revenant complete a swan dive

Fish men maybe monsters, but they're clearly alive

And I'm glad they're not zombies

For I confess

That I'm WAY DONE WITH ZOMBIES

But I digress

The point is that school will make you depressed

If you've got gills on your face and scales on your chest
Karma Jolt

Dragon Feet

You die

Texas Boots

You die

Zeus' Wand

You die

Life meter undermined

Javelin Man

You die

A Grand Slam

You die

Fatal Steps

You still die

In the absence of supplies

No time to fuck about

Max power is maxed out

Karma Jolt

Flip for it like Acro Circus

Mightier than any Zerg rush

Karma Jolt

The smiles are free

But the death is still cheap

If restoratives

Are not what you keep

Against the Jocks

You die

Against the Squids

You die

Against the Mob

You die

Coinage bisectified

Against the Plague

You die

Against Cowboys

You die

Against Homeboys

You still die

And you only get one guy

No time to fuck about

Max power is maxed out

Karma Jolt

Healthier than brussel sprouts

Max power is maxed out

Karma Jolt

Tricklin' down ya throat

With a Karma Jolt

Drink it up

Just one taste

Of that bubbling karma crude

Is complete stamina points

So you disarm a dude

And take all of his change

After he's ceased to be alive

And walk up to the counter

And drop $15.25

A jolt of karma in the arm allows for furtherance of harm

A jolt of karma in the arm allows for furtherance of harm

A jolt of karma in the arm allows for furtherance of harm

A jolt of karma in the arm, a karma jolt
Eff the Sun

Like a corrupt data compiler

We're gonna mess up

That ball of fire

Douse the power it requires

Video games all day

No prior

Kulcha

Was ever glare free

Those little light bursts

Bouncing off the screen

Annoying

To the nth degree

That's why the sun is gonna get one toll free

Bomb blast

In the precise vicinity

To nullify negative charge

For all infinity

Cascade effects

Chain reactions

Atomic level annihilation

To eff the sun

Eff the sun

Anti solar sentiment

Is nothing new

But my ostentatious arguments necessitate review

My chief argument is

That the sun eats poo

And all gets up in my eyes

When I play faxanadu

And through

A telescope

I calculate

The absolute destruction of all solar real estate

And wait

While the platform rises

With more destructive force than 8 starship Enterprises

But crap

The hydraulics are broken

Need to call tech support at the place I bought it from

But the guy on the line is a freakin' jerk

Man, I just need the lifting platform to work

Reboot the machine, wait the for start up chimes

Alright we're all good, now it's finally time

Eternal darkness

'Cause the sun's all charred

Put the text of this song on a V:TES card

Eff the sun
BAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLSSSS (Prometheus Burning vs. The Gothsicles)

BAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLSSSS

3D circles

Orbs & spheres

In your face

And in your ears

3D circles

Orbs & globes

In your grill

And on your lobes

It's
mindFluxFuneral owes me like $100

Out on my lunch break

Headed to the Chinese place for some delicious take

Out but to my surprise

I was to be penalized

By a radar pair of eyes

Birthmark playing in the car

That fourth track is

Worth four stars

And then there was that officaaar

Listenin' to mindFlux

And spendin' the big bucks

Pulled over by the law

That ticket was bullshit

And I shoulda fought it

But it was in Waukesha

But the point is you made me

'Cause that songs kicks crazy

Much amounts of ass

Thereby, I attest to thee

You're an accessory

To my driving slightly fast

So this one's on you

This one's on you

Then years later at Chicago's Darkroom

I'm approached by a singer guy I recognize and subsequently with whom

I converse & try to get reimbursed

To get some money back into my wallet

He's like "Huh?" I'm like "Yeah" he's like "No" I'm like "Cool"

"'Cause i was just kidding about it"

He's like "Dude man, that sucks, and you're not alone.

Skinny Puppy's had me passing dudes in no passing zones.

So here's some advice of comparable value:

Write about that shit"

...I think i'll write about that shit.

AND I TEAR YOU APART (lyrics from mFF's "Dream It Dead", the song this song is kind of about)
Nine Dudes Freaking Out

Freaking out

Getting wild

Getting wild

Freaking out

Freaking out

Getting wild

Getting wild and freaking out

Ramp the wacky up

Nine dudes freaking out

And going berzerk

Nine dudes throwing down

And going to work

A small percentage of the place

All getting wild

A booth in the back is where the coats are piled

Shake your sillies out

It's what I'm all about

Basic masonry

Requires grout

A small percentage of the place

All getting wild

By the 14th of April

Have your taxes filed

The next morning, go out

Get you something to eat

Oh man, mimosas and a hostess cake or

Breakfast burrito

And it's only when the server staff

Shows up with your food

That the door gets knocked down

And in rush nine dudes
I Thought the CD Player Was Broken...But it was Just a Cyanotic Song (feat. Cyanotic)

Hey, what's that noise?

The CD player's busted

Or the CD's scratched up

And shitcake encrusted

Oh wait

It's just on shuffle

And a Cyanotic track

Is causing kerfluffles

With stuttery takes

And skippery sounds

They wouldn't take this CD

At the Disc-Go-Round

'Cause they only stake stuff

That's free of scratches

And after a second of this

My ear lobe detaches

It's like Pantera at a hip hop show

Or terminators driving down a bumpy road

Or Robocop with a ruptured spleen

Or someone who's role model is a machine

Hey, you know that one Cyanotic band?

They're the guys with the moving keyboard stand

We're doing a collab with them on our second disc

And the lead singer sounds just like this

We're doing a collab with that Cyanotic band

Careful, keyboard guy, or you'll crush your hands

It just might be the hottest track on the disc

And the lead singer screams just like thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-i-i-i-i-i-s
DEATHKEY

Everybody's all takin' 'bout DEATHKEY

But I don't even know what that means

Is it music? No, it's too noisey

DEATHKEY

Some guy all tryin' to be creepy

Posting his rants and bandname repetitively

From his parents' basement, on his mom's PC

DEATHKEY

I'm on the Side-Line boards

I got machete swords

Express my mental block

By way of Caps Lock

It spread across the web like it was grape jelly

It's everywhere like ninjas and zombies

So viral, the doc just diagnosed me

DEATHKEY

Now every morning my inbox is at capacity

I look why and then I cry "ZOMG"

A thousand blog comments and this is how they all read:

DEATHKEY

I'm on the Side-Line boards

I got machete swords

Express my mental block

By way of Caps Lock

My bullshit was so extreme,

My band is now an internet meme

So on every forum thread

Forget the topic

Reply with DEATHKEY instead
I Can Tell You Shop At Hot(t) Topic

I know where you got that T-Shirt

I know where you got those boots

I know where you got that tote bag

Touting your Nintendo roots

And I'm aware of the location

Of just where you got those pants

And the tribute compilation with the

Cleopatra bands, bands, bands

I can tell that you, that you shop at Hot(t) Topic

'Cause you look sorta skater punk rock and 40% gothic

I'm not making any judgments here,

I just know where you bought it

'Cause I can tell that you, that you shop at Hot(t) Topic

I can tell that you, that you shop at Hot(t) Topic

'Cause you look sorta skater punk rock and kinda, sorta gothic

It's not parody or sarcasm

It's only to observe

That the source of your clothes

Is quite easy to discern
Triple Shot

Arcade alteration's on the menu for tonight

And Galaga's the target for a massive weapons hike

Still got no up and down flight path, just horizontal scrolling

But we'll still upgrade the armament for outer space patrolling

'Cause tonight we're going overboard, tonight you're getting rocked

Because we've got a firepower surplus to allot

Mosquito alien insectoids are now gonna thrice swat

With one hundred percent acc-u-ra-cy on the dot

Triple shot

Triple shot

You try to defend but you cannot

Triple shot

Three conjoined battleships is what I got

Triple shot

Triple shot

You try to defend but you cannot

Triple shot

Three conjoined fighter ships is what I got

Without connected space vessels, bloodlust goes unassuaged

And mono monster mashing always makes for a "challenging stage"

But despite the symphony of destruction from my two-pronged attacks

True lethal harmony was out because a duet was the max

'Cause only double ships in Galaga could previously be attained

But tonight a new joint wingman to the existing two is gained

'Cause when the forces of the arcade meet our industrial electro

The result is an unstoppable artillery trifecto

Triple shot

Triple shot

You try to defend, but you cannot

Try to get back to the top of the screen:

You get jack squat
Turn Signals Are Still Cool
When you're in a lane
And youSuddenly deviateYou make me feel ashamedFor my ownWisconsin license plateI can't read your mindI'm not inThe Psychic Friends NetworkSo you must signal your directional intentionsOr watch me go berserk(On you)In the lanesYou must signalOn the off-rampYou still must signalYou demonstrate your gaping lack of any driving skill'Cause turn signals are not optionalThe lines on the road areClearly marked, but you'reDrifting like a raftHow did you ever get a valid driver's license?Was it blackmail, bribery or witchcraft?

And if the lead guy at the light

Gets his left signal on too late

Make sure you get that blinker on

Before you circumnavigate

This is the type thing that

Shouldn't be so hard

I don't think it's that hard

Is it really that hard?
One Second Ghost
All eight bits of meAre solidlyCommitted to side-scrollingAnd no enemiesCan vanquish meOr the power I'm controllingBut I suddenly scream "Shit!""Because my guy has just been hitWith my hits points indicator less than fullBut it's quite inconsequentialAnd my wrath will be torrentialFor the following one secondI am in-vin-ci-a-ble('cause I'm a)One SecondOne Second GhostOne SecondOne Second GhostThe cause of my awesomeNESHas been diagnosed('cause I'm a)One Second
One Second Ghost

Post contact I am flashing

And on the screen I'm dashing

'Cause my time as a specter is so limited

But even though I've just been damaged

I turn that to my advantage

You can't stop this platform gaming rivethead

('cause I'm a)

One Second

One Second Ghost

The cause of your imminent death

Has been diagnosed

One Second

One Second Ghost

You try to do me in

Well almost

You get

Vengeance from the other side

Where pixel poltergeists reside

It's the power you play with

When you play Nintendo

So take this song as a tutorial

For going incorporeal

'Cause if you strike me down

I'll rise like a crescendo
English License

Now don't get me wrong

When you hear this song

'Cause I got five Project Pitchfork CDs on my desk

Playing more than occasionally

XMTP MP3s

But we're the English Police,

and you're under arrest!

First off, the letter "V"

Is pronounced differently

Than the way in which the letter "W" is said

Such linguistic mistakes

Should be harder to make

If you called up an American goth and got your shit proofread!

Chorus:

For crimes of crappy lyrics that don't make any sense

Your judgment has been made and it decrees that forth hence

Project Pitchfork, E-Craft, and Funker Vogt

Your English License has been revoked!

For crimes of crappy lyrics that don't make any sense

Your judgment has been made and it decrees that forth hence

Neuroticfish and E-Craft, and Funker Vogt

Your English License has been revoked!

And I will concede

That I will stomp 'till I bleed

To your music 'cause I'm not a hater

But it's hard sound tough,

Even vocoding wont' be enough,

If your lyrics are written by a first grader

But I'll let you off with a warning

If you promise me one thing:

That you'll figure out what the proper syllables to accent are

'Cause your looped layers of static

Will sound more dramatic

When you don't sing like a goddamn dork...ALLES KLAR?

(chorus)

Breakdown:

Bands are on the run from the grammatical police

For their own good, we gotta find and fix mistakes from Germanese

No more changing words to make a rhyme or rhyming same words twice

'Cause it's possible write a hit were the words aren't sacrificed

Soon we're gonna go put other places to the test

By fixing up their lyrics, Scandanavia is next

Making yudgments on the quality of lyrical esteem

Chopping up shitty lyrics with a guil-e-o-tine

The right accents aren't required to garner our approval

But singing like an idiot means license removal

And I aware of my own lyrical shortcomings

Pronunciation errors that knock me out the running

Saying Funker, not "Foonkah", when I know that that is wrong

Showing blatant hypocrisy within my own damn song

But I'll make an effort and strain

To get it right on the refrain

And here it comes again

So raise your voice (not woice) and sing along!

(chorus x2)
Hey, I've Got That Font

The boss isn't looking

So I use my screen

For browsing an online music magazine

And there I see a thing

That I can't believe

There are still band logos made with Ogilvie

'cause me,

I'm something of a typeface connoisseur

I eat chicken wing dings with my font du jour [tofu chicken]

And I can spot your shitty fonts like a cheap toupee

And still blow you away

With my Arial display

And when it comes to fonts,

I annihilate

And when I print my fonts,

I always collate

Some are narrow and condensed,

Others heavyweight

And I'm more gothic

Than any Copperplate

Hey, I've Got That Font

And a full directory of all the TrueType you could want

Hey, I've Got That Font

They used Alleycat to advertise that local restaurant

Hey, I've Got That Font

With bolds and italics from here to Vermont

Hey, I've Got That Font

Creepygirl and Rockwell, I'm a fuckin' font savant

There are so many fonts that I recognize

Zoom in all you want, they won't pixelize

'Cause I know the good shit from the replicas

I'll see you in Helvetica

and then a

Big fucking axe will cut off your hands

You used to be serif, but now you're sans

And I got plans to make that font

Used by Mickey D's

I'll trace it out with the blood

From where your hands used to be

I customized a font so each serif ends in a hook

But your custom font looks like gobbledygook

And that's not Eras Lite but Eras Medium that you mistook

And I'm more gothic

Than any Franklin Book

Hey, I've Got That Font

And a full directory of all the TrueType you could want

Hey, I've Got That Font

They used Alleycat to advertise that local restaurant

Hey, I've Got That Font

If there was a typeface army, then I'd be the commandant

Hey, I've Got That Font

I sell 'em to pay off my Mitsubishi Galant

Morpheus

Times New Roman

Ultraworld

Bookman Old Style

Garamond

Liquidism

Comic, Bloody, Impact

Verdana

Goudy Stout

Century Gothic, Bauhaus

Joystix

Buffy

Liquidism 2

Metal Lord

Courier New
Mix This Song Into A23's "Maps of Reality"

If you're gonna get paid

For playing other people's music

You'll probably wanna add some zing

And here's one way to do it

And I know that fancy mixing

Doesn't always make a good DJ

But still, my mom could put a CD in a deck

And make it play

"Maps of Reality"

By Assemblage 23

Has the same BPM

And is in the same key

As the track which you are hearing now

It's Beat Match 101

We'll synchronize

The song's reprise

And then we'll have some fun

Because it's like a paint by numbers

Except for the DJ booth

Because a pause that lasts two seconds

Just sounds sloppy and uncouth

We'll make a beat match so precise

You'll leave the dancefloor thunderstruck

Because our mash-up will be organized

And not just sheer (Shear?) luck

"Maps of Reality"

By Assemblage 23

Is the subject of this mix

Because I think that song is neat

So whoever's at the decks,

Prepare to bring the real beat back

And cue it up to 9.7 seconds into the track

Because it's like a paint by numbers

Except for the disc jockey

'Cause two shoes in a dryer

Pisses off my Tamagotchi

But train wrecks can be avoided

And we're here to show you how

So miss or mister DJ,

Drop the beat...*NOW*

Main synth in 5 4 3 2

And cue Tom's vocals

We'll end this shit when we reach the chorus
Better Versions By Other People

Better versions by

Other people

Bigger beats and better synths

And at least twice as evil

Probably gonna overshadow mine

But it's worth the risk

Just to get a few more tracks

On this goddamn disc

Better versions by

Other people

When other people do the work

It turns out much less feeble

Should you hear this CD in a club

It should be no surprise

It's gonna be one these tracks

By these other guys
Holy Shit, We're Playing Infest!
Who is this band?I never heard them beforeMust've snuck into InfestThrough the back doorAnd now we're on the billThat your admission paid forSo excuse me for a second while i freak out hardcoreHoly shitHoly shitHoly shitWe're playing InfestTwo Nintendo nerdsFrom the American midwestHoly shitHoly shitWe're playing infestI can't believe it eitherIt's like we're dream achieversWere this is television i would adjust my receiverNeither rain nor sleet nor ice nor snowCould keep us from this showWe'd even take a flight

That's flying into Heathrow

Last night I got so anxious

I threw up and made a mess

And now we're here to commandeer

The fruits of your interest

Get ready for

The final inquest

Holy shit

Holy shit

Welcome to Infest
Theme From "So You've Decided To Become A Goth"
Congratulations, I hear you're goth now
But if you are just tuning in
Well let me tell you how
To be all creepy
Industrial and gothic
Just have a seat and
Rewatch the filmstrip
So you want
So you want to become a goth
Discover 80s icons apart from David Lee Roth
And other things that you learn when you become a goth
Not quite emo-ite
Poseur or nu-metal
And is here underscored
By Hanzl und Gretyl
So stayed tuned in our seriesOf gothic educationNext we'll cover hi-hats, kick drumsAnd arpeggiationSo you want
So you want to become a gothDiscover 80s icons apart from David Lee RothAnd other things that you learn when you become a goth
So you want

So you want to become a goth

Hear music colder than ice planet Hoth

And other things that you learn when you become a goth

Or buy Funker Vogt instead

To become a rivet head

Order now for a free DVD

Of Dawn of the Dead
Konami Code (III and IV)

Contra! 30 Guys!

Enter in this code for thirty lives!

Contra! 30 Guys!

Punch in the code for thirty lives!

UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT B A SELECT START

Contra! 30 Guys!

The following code makes the body count rise!
Sonic Boom!

Micah! You look like-ah

Streetfighter!

Micah! You look like-ah

You're 16 bits on a Super Nintendo!

You spike your hair in such a way,

It's blonde and sharp and pointy

And it makes me want to say:

SONIC BOOM!

Cruc' Injection!

Entering the room,

Throwing catchy synth hooks at tremendous volume!

Spikey blonde hair that's pointy and well groomed,

You cannot withstand the industrial

SONIC BOOM!

Micah! You look like-ah

Flashkicker!

Micah! You look like-ah

You're gonna hit M. Bison with a medium punch!

You spike your hair in such a way,

I hold back for two seconds

Push forward and A!

SONIC BOOM!
Devastator

Autobots are going down

'Cause there's an evil giant robotic

New kid in town!

Constructicons

Form to create

The amalgemous monstrosity that Autobots hate!

Right arm is formed by Scavenger!

Left leg is formed by Mixmaster!

Scrapper, Long Haul, Bone Crusher

Make up the rest!

Hook creates the head that heroes detest!

DEVASTATOR!

Constructicons in battle

With the Dinobots!

They kick and claw and tear and share

Commercial spots!

But the forces of evil

Rule the scene

With an iron fist

That's purple and green!

Right arm is formed by Scavenger!

Left leg is formed by Mixmaster!

Scrapper, Long Haul, Bone Crusher

Make up the rest!

Hook creates the head that snaps on to his chest!

DEVASTATOR!

Lyrics