I Feel Sicle
Unbekannt In Deutschland
4 Fat Guys
This Is What The Brujah Clan Will Do To All You Gangrels
Straight Up Otter Time
Magnetic Shield
Multi-Laired (feat. Toril Lindqvist of Alice in Videoland)
Sun Shy
+8 XP
Loktwarr Danalora
Mermaids vs. Manticores (feat. Sirenne)
Resistanz Festival Soundtrack 2016
One Of The Last Bands Ever To Play Resistanz Festival (We're #104)
Electrogensis
Code Thief
The Nyarlat Hot EP
Death Touch
On Another Plane
Squid Icarus
Super Scary Action Figure (I Want To Eat Your Brain)
Drop Dead, Squid Face!
Ultrasweaty
I Sniffed the Glove (vs. Cyferdyne)
Give Me One More Chance to Get the Hi-Score, Then We Can Go
Moon Knight is Cool
Black T-Shirt (NIN cover)
Sword Cane
Cthulhu Fhartwagon
Bloodlust Software Was Awesome
This Club Is Closed (feat. Anglespit)
Songs From the De-EP
Show Respect to Aquaman
Kinetik Festival Volume 5.5
3rd Original Kinetik Track (Americans on Rev)
Industrialites & Magic
B-R-[x]-A-N
Save Dat Mermaid
Wearing A Star Trek Uniform, Watching Tony Lechmanski Sleep
Drunk Cuts
Voicebox Botox
My Guy Died (Level 12 Human Sorcerer)
You Have Found the Hawk's Claw
Wildness Acts
Baby Jesus vs. Baby Genius
VARIOUS ARTISTS: Resistanz
The First Band Ever to Play Resistanz Festival (We're #1)
Kinetik Festival Volume 3
Holy Shit, We're Playing Kinetik
Electronic Saviors: Industrial Music to Cure Cancer
Jim, Let Me Know When You Can Drink Again
Sega Lugosi's Dead
INFL8-R
Second Album Means It's Too Late to Change Your Band Name
Amphibious Trigonometry
Karma Jolt
Eff the Sun
BAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLSSSS (Prometheus Burning vs. The Gothsicles)
mindFluxFuneral owes me like $100
Nine Dudes Freaking Out
I Thought the CD Player Was Broken...But it was Just a Cyanotic Song (feat. Cyanotic)
Songs in the Key of Death
DEATHKEY
NESferatu
I Can Tell You Shop At Hot(t) Topic
Triple Shot
Konami Code IV
Turn Signals Are Still Cool
One Second Ghost
English License 2.0
Hey, I've Got That Font
Mix This Song Into A23's "Maps of Reality"
Better Versions By Other People
Not on a CD
Everyone Should Play V:TES ('Cause Somebody's Gotta Be Worse Than Me) - feat. Ben Peal
Holy Shit, We're Playing Infest!
Theme From "So You've Decided To Become A Goth"
Etherblisster EP
Konami Code III
Devastator
Sonic Boom
Runzmattenweg
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Unbekannt in Deutschland
Jetzt auf der Bühne
Die Electro-Piraten
Die grossten Streber der Vereinigten Staaten
Im USA sind alle da bevor der Show beginnt
Aber da in Deutschland weiss niemand wer wir sindUnbekannt in Deutschland
Wir haben Flüge bezahlt
Und die Sprache gelernt.
Und spielen jetzt an einem Ort,
So weit entfernt
Vielleicht nicht sofort beim WGT
Mehr so Parkplatz KDWUnbekannt in Deutschland
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4 Fat Guys
electronic hockey in the 1980s
balances dexterity and heavyweights these
avatars of alacrity
and physical prowess
are available in averages
of swiftness and powerskate right
fist fightfour fat guys
four skinny guys
four mediumor two fat guys
and two skinny guys
or combinations thereoffour fat guys
four skinny guys
or four in betweendiffering degrees of strength and speed
will make up the teamwe’re running out of lyrics at a minute 30 in
because the premise of this song is embarrassingly thin
in just a couple of beats, we’ll bring back the chorus
with the middle guy, the speedy guy and also the tortoiseskate right
fist fight
skate quick
high sticks4 fat guys
win every time -
This Is What The Brujah Clan Will Do To All You Gangrels
this is what the brujah clan will do to all you gangrels -
Straight Up Otter Time
Peace out, land
I’m leaving this scene
Count me amongst the submarine
‘Cause the scientific name of my best friends is
Pronounced as “Lontra canadensis”Let’s see some friends of mine
The underwater kind
From cool to hotter climes
Straight up otter timeLet’s see some friends of mine
The underwater kind
Swim through a lotta slime
Straight up otter timeI’m hanging with these dudes with subaqueous skills
And insulated coats for the subaqueous chills
In colors including white, brown, black and grey
Hold on to my hand so that you don’t drift awayLet’s see some friends of mine
The underwater kind
From cool to hotter climes
Straight up otter timeLet’s see some friends of mine
The underwater kind
From the salty brine
Straight up otter timeLet’s see some friends of mine
The underwater kind
From cool to hotter climes
Straight up otter timeLet’s see some friends of mine
The underwater kind
Skateboarding's not a crime
Straight up otter timeTheir eyes are shielded from the lake
By membranes that nictitate
Their habitats tend to be varied:
Swamplands, woodlands, estuariesThey inhabit rocky shores
And are mostly carnivores
But sometimes eat aquatic plants
C’mon everybody, do the otter danceDo the otter dance
Let’s see some friends of mine
The underwater kind
From cool to hotter climes
Straight up otter timeLet’s see some friends of mine
The underwater kind
We’re throwing rotten limes
Straight up otter timeLet’s see some friends of mine
The underwater kind
From cool to hotter climes
Straight up otter timeLet’s see some friends of mine
The underwater kind
I’ve taught a paradigm
Straight up otter time -
Magnetic Shield
amongst these mountains
you decide to battle me
i’m buying bullets
while you buy all the batteries
i think i’m putting you upon the path of danger
but you got the power ‘cause i can’t see your angle(your) Magnetic shield
You keep me out with an electric field
(your) Magnetic shield
You turn back my attack with an electrical fieldi’m arming ordnance to elicit MIRV damage
you respond with funky bombs that multiply, so i savage
ly lock the target and adjust for wind direction
but i did not calculate the force of your deflection(your) Magnetic shield
You keep me out with an electric field
(your) Magnetic shield
You turn back my attack with an electrical field(your) Magnetic shield
You keep me out with an electric field
(your) Magnetic shield
You repel the incoming shells with the nuclear yield -
Multi-Laired (feat. Toril Lindqvist of Alice in Videoland)
you don’t have a prayerwe’re multi-laired
you’ll be ensnared
we’re multi-laired
i’ve got a tomb of horrors and hall of doom
a technodrome and a panic room
secret passageways, ramparts and a moat
and all the treasure is trapped, so i know that you don’t
have a prayeri’ve got a black pyramid and a neutral zone
with a skull motif on my iron throne
and all the underwater exits are guarded by boats
you can’t escape through the vents, so i know that you don’t
have a prayerchicagooooo
one hideout has the hand grenades
one has got the garden maze
one's equipped with missle turrets
one's guarded by abyssal demons
not a single reason to be scared
there's more than one, we’re multi-laired -
Sun Shy
dragging on throughout the day
all my strength is sapped away
i just wanna hit the hay
and stray from the waking worldbut when it's dark, I come alive
all my systems come online
the night is when I energize
and rise when the day’s adjournedi defy the nuclei that strike the sky from space
when the sun turns off we
fire up the coffee
and the synthesizers
and cubasewe stay up late
and we percolate
and we oscillatein the lightless nightshift
we shun the sun
i’m justified
just stepping outside
in cimmerian skiesin the lightless nightshift
we shun the sun
don’t wanna dominate the world
instead, I’ll take the zoo
and party with the polar bears and the kangaroos
‘cause all the coolest critters congregate nocturnally
and I’m the coolest cat in town, so they’ve all heard of mebut let’s submerge when we converge to escape this cruel candescence
‘cause i don’t need the sun to see with bioluminescence -
+8 XP
I don’t know if you recall, but I remember it well
We were in a random chat room on irc
I sent you some of my music over the DSL
You said it was cool and that meant a lot to me
‘Cause five years later, we’re both rocking the scene
Discussing arpeggiators in festival green
Rooms and
I don’t know if i can thank you guys enough
‘Cause i only got this far by studying your stuffVery important to me
+8 XP
Providing protocol, developmentally
+8 XPAnalyzing structures and processes
+8 XPAnd when the beat erupts,
I level up+8
+8 xpAlbums and remixes each better than the last ‘cause you said your favorite track was the next one
Turning up the bass (“base” GET IT?) with every dancefloor smash beyond a ten like it was hexadecimal
This is not a call to action to reform the band
I understand how it gets when you need to move on
But i do think it’s worth
Expressing in verse
That i think you guys made a bunch of really great songs -
Loktwarr Danalora
conjuring conduit for causing metamorphosis
arcane catalyst for this corporeal contortionist
altering appearances, although the change is torturous
with my might & magic, we’ll penetrate these fortresses -
Mermaids vs. Manticores (feat. Sirenne)
first vampires fought the werewolves
then demons and gargoyles fought frankenstein
now prepare for the next epic battle
of the mythological kindhominin head
leonine torso
manticores abhor remorse no
one escapes when we take flight
our tails are armed with stalactitesmermaids
kill with a kiss
drag you down into the abyssmanticores
mermaids
face two new monster brigadesmermaids
manticores
phase three of the monster warsphase three of the monster wars
phase three of the monster wars
beautiful bait
for a maritime trap
these iron maidens
are on the attack
succumb to the siren song of the sea
less S.O.S., more R.I.P.manticores won’t fall for
your high seas harassment
especially the scorpion variant -
From Amanda
This one’s for you, Seth!It's from Amanda!
She started hitting the club to hear you spin
Then you ran a game where she was the paladin and
Now your lady wants to make an inquiry
And got the best band in town to do so musicallyA question for Seth
From Amanda
Will you marry me?Be my Batman
My Green Lantern
Will you marry me?This is a for-real marriage proposal!
You lift my spirits like a levitation spell
I’ll defend you from the bugbears and ne’er-do-wells
This party only needs me and my counterpart
No thief required
‘Cause you already stole my heartA question for Seth
From Amanda
Will you marry me?The song is done now
So what’s the answer
Will you marry me? -
One Of The Last Bands Ever To Play Resistanz Festival (We're #104)
the circle is complete
now we are the masters
‘cause when we repeat
we’ll be one of the last ones
to ever rock industrial light and magic
comin’ back stronger than you could possibly imaginewe’re number 1
hundred and 4
all aboard for the ocean-floor troubadourswe’re number 1
hundred and 4
one more resistanz, for then they’ll be no more
still #1
still #1a page from the story of the origin
evolving into auditory champions
to achieve final form inside corporation
thank you, sheffield (especially phyll and leighton)we’re number 1
hundred and 4
all aboard for the ocean-floor troubadourswe’re number 1
I'm hundred and 4
one more resistanz, for then they’ll be no more
still #1
still #1we were #1
we were #1 -
Chica Vampiro
(Rodney Anonymous and MC Lars wrote these.)Saturday, one o'clock
I turn the TV to Mondo Fox
There's a show I've got to watch
There's a show that just plain rocks
A high school girl named Daisy O'Brien
Who's also a vampire; I ain't lyin'
The acting is better than Robert De Niro
It's time to watchChica Vampiro
Everybody did a grave, dig a grave
Reruns of Buffy can be OK
But I just can't watch them every day
Not when there's so much at stake
So drop that hero - get with a zero
It's time to watchChica Vampiro
[MC LARS]
Chica Vampiro, me gusta mucho
Telenovela, amor y justo
Colombian hit, ninos pequenos
Scaring their parents and haunting their sueños
Max de la Torre puede bailar
cuando Ulises O’Brian is far
Twilight it’s not, but still rocks the spot
Chica Vampiro, voy a mirar a lot -
Death Touch
the army's on its way
to stop your kumite
but you must qualify
for honor in your master's eyei've seen you take a hit
and even kick the splits
but entry is not based on kicks
you must first make tricks with bricksbe
the best you can be
you've arrived
now fight to survivedeath touch
don't worry, it won't hurt much
after going numb from being punched in the nutssuperior to the one inch punch
piledriver and camel clutchnow you’ve made it in
the tournament begins
he says that you are next
then caps it with a flex of pecsand then that very guy
throws powder in your eyes
have a flashback to be reminded
how to fight when you’ve been blindedbe
the best you can be
you've arrived
now break the record time -
On Another Plane
you and me make a maze
we deconstruct with a crane
we set the whole world ablaze
on another plane
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Unbekannt in Deutschland
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Super Scary Action Figure (I Want To Eat Your Brain)
on the shelves of powers comics
way up in green bay
i found a guy that i’d been looking for since back in the day
a pliable maniacal alien creature
with a slimey living web and the power of speech
eradicate the spider-man
is what we’re gonna do
i want to grab you by the arms and legs and tear you in two
i want to get inside your head like a psychic stain
i want to
i want toi want to eat your brain
i want to eat your brain
i want to eat your brain
i want to eat your brain
severed at the head and rent in twain
a doppelganger’s dead with disconnected remains
i want to eat your brainmonochromatic monster
from outer space
shooting stuff out my hands
and saying words out my face
actually they come from a box on my back
with color coded buttons, so you can keep track
of all the scary soundbytes and phrases i speak
try recalling me when i knock you into next weeki want to eat your brain
i want to eat your brain
i want to eat your brain
i want to eat your brain
severed at the head and rent in twain
crack open the cranium, see what it contains
i want you to
[DIE, SPIDER-MAN] -
Drop Dead, Squid Face!
rising up 'cause the stars say it's time
sinking back at the sight of the signwaking when the dreams start to change
death dies when the aeons are strangeDROP DEAD, SQUID FACE!
-
Ultrasweaty
ten minutes into the set
and we’re already drenched
from being covered in sweat
because we get so intenseoh yeah, we cook up beats for breakfast
then burn those calories
so you can feel the wetness
coming from the energywe got on beverage on
so get your body ready
we get ultrasweatywe’re eating energon
so keep the rhythm steady
we get ultrasweatytwelve minutes into the set
and we get waterlogged
from being covered in sweat
from the hair of the dogoh yeah we cook up beats for dinner
then store up the power
and release it all on stage
in a gothsicle shower -
I Sniffed the Glove (vs. Cyferdyne)
Playing Sheffield’s Corporation
On stage set to thrill
With PCP Principle
And Cyferdyne on the bill
But the Cyfer guys needed
An olfactory lift
Went back into green room
To find out that the glove was sniffedI sniffed the glove
We sing serious songs
About serious stuff
We're a serious band
Making jokes about spuffWe played with The Gothsicles
Down at corporation
They said that we could sniff the glove
So we did, no hesitation.Soaking up the sweat of my industrial stank
With a scent to bowl you over like a dinosaur tank
Taking damage over time from the senses assailed
When poisonous vapors
From the glove are inhaledIt's so intoxicating
Drink it in like River Phoenix
We only wrote the last line
So that we could say the word “dicks”And the stink doesn’t stop
With what I wear on my hand
Because I am known far and wide
Throughout the land
As a natural resource
Of critical mass
‘Cause I can power a city
With methane gasI just need to quickly go to the toilet
Don't worry, I'll be back
Wait, what, we-we're on now?
UH! This is Cyferdyne and The Gothsicles!
DO IT! DO IT NOOOOOOW!!!!You should have told me that it smelt so nasty
I sniffed so hard I need a rhinoplasty
You gave me all those drinks and then you took advantage
Teasing us with, that Chicago meat sandwich
Feeling violated, feeling totally used
With all the time we've spent a part, we've all got the blues
We think that you don't love us
We think that you don't care
We post your pics on Facebook and you don't even shareGonna go back to England
And then I'm gonna getcha
Your vocals are like Hocico
Beat up by Ke$ha
Your rhyme is in the shell
Mine are totally ample
10 minutes left of Watchmen
That you didn't sampleEye make-up, ties and suits
And album covers stolen from Crysis 2
Autotuned to insane level
Feel the burn, you dorks foreverYou spit rhymes like Shakespeare
But a Shakespeare who likes toys
Is your sound original? Or a rip off Beastie Boys?
Too busy saving mermaids, or getting drunk cuts
You drop beats like a juggler, who totally sucksYou've got thick thumbs, like fat girls thighs
Nintendo masturbation will damage your eyes
We've run out of trash, ‘cause you’re such a nice guy
But F.Y.I. 8 Bit died.Also, just for your information, we don't use auto-tune at all, so thank
youI sniffed the glove and I liked it
The smell of your sweaty fingersI sniffed the glove just to try it
And I think I just don't mind it
We're English for god’s sake! -
Give Me One More Chance to Get the Hi-Score, Then We Can Go
you know we played all the games in this vintage arcade
like golden axe and streets of rage
but i got pac-man’s high score in my sights
one more thing to do tonightone more
high score
shot and if not,
baby, let me get the doorone more
high score
try & if i die
we’ll come back another timeone more
high score
shot and if not,
baby, let me get the doorone more
high score
attempt
it’s intense
baby, loan me 25 centsgimme 25
we played heavy barrel in two player mode
but arcade style contra doesn't take the codewe hit the pinball version of doctor who
and then annihilated at street fighter iiand we destroyed at rampage, got all the way to des moines
then ran out of change 'cause the thing ran out of coinsbe the benefactor of this ascent
"U&I" at the top of the list
is my intent -
Moon Knight Is Cool
i love cosmic adventures and high powered endeavors
but the raddest stuff in town is going down at street level
not a huge hulking bruiser or lightning bolt blaster
just a dude with an attitude
sporting alabasterpick a crescent from your spine
(moon knight is cool)
you can see him coming by design
(moon knight is cool)
vengeance has a new redeemer
(moon knight is cool)
broken arms and shattered femurs
(moon knight is cool)he’s got tons of money
and a sidekick who’s french and
he once took on nefaria including the henchmen
if you look at the contents of my bookshelf
you’ll find it’s got more issues than marc spector’s mental healthpick a crescent from your spine
you can see him coming by design
vengeance has a new enforcer
broken arms on broken torsospick a crescent from your derrière
you can see him coming from everywhere
vengeance has a new avatar
doling out the moon shaped forehead scarshelicopters
and bolo guns
it’s like 3 batmans for the price of one
‘cause the best party’s always on the b-list
spinning some nunchucks
and throwing a spiked fistmoon knight is cool
(leaving fat lips every lunar eclipse)
moon knight is cool
(covered in corporate blood and werewolf drool)all beware the fist of khonshu
you could read something else, but you wouldn’t want to -
Black T-Shirt (NIN cover)
i buy my black shirts from h&m
they’re 10 bucks a pop, i got like 20 of them
but american apparel always gets me the sex
‘cause those tight black t-shirts hella show off my pecsblack
t-shirt
the cornerstone of all industrial merch
black
t-shirt
it always look clean ‘cause you can’t see the dirtblack summer cuts and v-necks
and polyblend weaves
i had the lady at the dry cleaners take off the sleeves
being that i’m totally ripped
try to get me in a white shirt and i’ll give you the slipand i’ll stock up on the 3 packs from calvin klein too
‘cause three for under thirty is a good value
on a -
Sword Cane
old man, i don’t wanna fight you
there’s a blade housed in your walking stick
i can tell that your frailty is fake
your reflexes are much too quick
i don’t know if you’re a super villain
or a stately menacing guy
but i know that if i battle you
i’ll get a puncture wound in my thighyou have a sword cane
old man, it’s obvious
that you’re adept at that weapon you wield
but i surmise that your strength is in surprise
for the weapon itself is concealed -
Cthulhu Fhartwagon
my brother lends me his van
when we go on the road
where we get hella bad gas
from drinking beer by the buttload
we decided that the vehicle
was called the fartwagon
because we leave it stinky
and horrible like dagonthere’s tons of weird stuff in my brother’s van
a single high heel and an empty paint can
a bass amp wrapped in my parents old sheets
and 50 cdrs of super crappy hip hop beatsiä iä
a van full of farts
the steering wheel locks up
it takes an hour to start
iä iä
cthulhu fhartwagon
equal parts octopus, toyota, dragonhere’s more weird stuff
that we found in the van
a glass with the inscription: “all american sports fan”
coloring books and six bucks in change
the mythos of this van has made me derangedmore numerous than young from the black goat of the woods
are the various containers of consumable goods
like a terrifying vista of reality
a mobile shrine to our gastronomic maladyiä iä
a van full of farts
the steering wheel locks up
it takes an hour to start
iä iä
cthulhu fhartwagon
equal parts octopus, toyota, dragoniä iä
a van full of farts
the steering wheel locks up
it takes an hour to start
iä iä
cthulhu fhartwagon
equal parts octopus, toyota, dragoniä iä
it smells super bad
abdul alhazred took a whiff
and then he went madiä iä
cthulhu fhartwagon
throw the keyboards
and the green cable bag in -
Bloodlust Software Was Awesome
strip mall
milwaukee
a shareware rack
a 3.5 inch floppy encased in shrink wraptook out my wallet and said
here, i’ll take this
then proceeded to install it on my 386switched from expanded to extended memory
and after sorting out the RAM I see
a digital display of unspeakable gore
hook up the modem to the phone because I gotta get morewe must
knock the noggins aroundadjust
the screwed up settings for soundblades thrust
leaving limbs on the groundflesh by the pound
encrusted in the lust
quit to dos
and load up a gamethen toss
about heads of the maimedthe last boss
is a takar named stainethe threat is sussed
encrusted in bloodlustmy addiction to their output grew like a virus
‘cause they were weird and maladjusted just like i was
with cool enemies and characters by the dozen
the games were for PC, but the content sure wasn't
i’m not even talkin’ ‘bout the emulators
despite them being as great as they were
studies can’t confirm any effects on consumers
but I grew up all gothic with a sick sense of humor -
This Club is Closed (feat. Angelspit)
this time i’m gonna use my powers for good
and provide a public service to the neighborhood
since i am rather adept
at clearing the floor
it makes sense for me to tell you that it’s time to find the doorthe club is closed
the club is closed
exit the premises
the club is closed
the club is closed
leave the propertyexit the premises
this club is closedwe hit verse two and you’re still here
so stop with the dancing and finish your beer
‘cause now we’ve reached the last call
for you to hook up
but you can’t get it on in here
so it’s time to leave the clubthe club is closed
the club is closed
exit the premises
the club is closed
the club is closed
leave the propertyexit the premises
take it from me
you don’t want the assist -
Code Thief
You're stealing data on which to subsist
You’re not a hero, you're just a plagiarist
I've know your game
You’re a code thiefPilfered programming is how you exist
You’re not a hero, you're just a plagiarist
I've know your game
You’re a code thiefI've seen your code and the security’s weak
You’re gushing bubble lead out of a memory leak
I've know your game
You’re a code thiefYou couldn't pass a computer class at DeVry
Your code sucks ass and that's the reason why
You take all your tricks from the guys dismantle
What happens when you reach exceptions you can't handleYour bios protocols belong in a trash can
Forget the guy with sticky bombs, you’re the Crash ManYou're stealing data on which to subsist
You’re not a hero, you're just a plagiarist
I've know your game
You’re a code thiefPilfered programming is how you exist
You’re not a hero, you're just a plagiarist
I've know your game
You’re a code thiefI've seen your code and the security’s weak
You’re gushing bubble lead out of a memory leak
I've know your game
You’re a code thiefcode thief x2
Incorporate the info in your core
Hope it won't corrupt your data store
But It changes the color of your carapace
That's one hell of an interfaceYou’ve fought Dr. Wiley so many times, it’s like the jail cell door is rotating
Maybe if you got it right on the first try, you wouldn’t need all the updatingYou're stealing data on which to subsist
You’re not a hero, you're just a plagiarist
I've know your game
You’re a code thiefPilfered programming is how you exist
You’re not a hero, you're just a plagiarist
I've know your game
You’re a code thiefI've seen your code and the security’s weak
You’re gushing bubble lead out of a memory leak
I've know your game
You’re a code thiefcode thief x2
-
Show Respect to Aquaman
Make way for the underwater royalty
King of Atlantis and the Seven Seas
Sometimes sporting a beard, sometimes clean shaven
He's the one you call when the day needs savin'
Who cares if all his powers are water based?
He can punch evil right in the face
Who cares if he occasionally rides a seahorse
When the ocean's in trouble, there's only one recourse
Show respect to Aquaman
Super cool, super powered and in demand
'Cause every time a crazy situation gets drastic he
Communicates with sea life telepathically
Aquaman
Aquaman
You only think he's useless if you're stuck on the land
Black Manta, Fisherman, and Ocean Master
All get put down when he swims into action
Who cares if he likes to hang out with walruses
His orange scale armor is the peak of flawlessness
Who cares if he can talk to fishes
He's got bulletproof skin and that trident is vicious
Show respect to Aquaman
He’s so hardcore, he cut off his own hand
It got replaced with a prosthetic harpoon
But they retconned that in the New 52 -
3rd Original Kinetik Track (Americans on Rev)
our toronto debut, care of isn
getting ready for the show when someone hands me a can
or maybe it was more like a clear plastic bottle
can’t remember ‘cause i took a sip and then i went full throttle
at first i’m like “hey, where’s the party at?”
at then i’m like “i think i’m going cardiac”
i don’t know how long canada’s had this shit
but that night was the first night that we’d heard of it
americans on rev
chicagoans out their heads
someone put a fifth of bacardi
in my redbull
the hangover is dreadful
detroit diesel
skylight glare and aliceffeckt
all put on awesome sets
and then we were up next
we took the stage with blue lips and shaking hands
and rocked with the force one million industrial bands
then afterwards collapsed on the floor in a mess
thanks for the ride home to ‘for all the emptiness’
a cautionary tale
to you my friend
stick with boreale
you’ll thank me in the end
americans on rev
chicagoans out their heads
someone all the alcohol
in my redbull
the hangover is dreadful
-
B-R-[x]-A-N
Two dudes on the scene
Tattoos of machines
Mixing Diet RC with a fifth of
Jim Beam
Jim's a cool name
But when I say "Bryan"
The ladies line up
With my code compilin'
'Cause the letters that I use
To write my name out
Are cooler than the booze
Flowin' out of the spout
I disbelieve
The rhymes you weave
Enjoy a reprieve
'Cause here's how it's gonna...
B-R-I-A-N
You spell that all messed up
When the chorus comes
You can try it again
B-R-Y-A-N
Why's it got a Y
When the I I got is better by times ten
B-R-I-A-N
You spell that all messed up
When the chorus comes
You can try it again
B-R-Y-A-N
Why's it got a Y
When the I I got is better by millions
Two syllables and three consonants
And the vowels I empower
Make lots of sense
An I and then an A
Is the one and only way
That I'll ever recognize
The spelling of the name
That's heresy
Total blasphemy
The absence of a Y is a catastrophe
Y is a vowel and consonant
Y is the letter that pays my rent
B-R-I-A-N
B-R-Y-A-N
-
Save Dat Mermaid
No police
Or this underwater beast
Gets both beheaded and filleted
I’ve got no idea
Who this fishy mistress is
But such is the trap I’ve laid
Your family’s captured, too
But they’ve got less to do
Than this random chick of the sea
You beat me in round one
But this is round two
And you’ll never make it to round three
Unless there’s
A yo-yo strike to take down a gangster
A snake fight, so take up the slingshot
A solo mission with no eskimo accolades
‘Til the way is clear
Save dat mermaid
Can’t find the vine down which I’m ‘sposed to climb
I have a hammer, but only on the inside
Tests of strength and of mind all serve to hide the way
But the goal is clear
Save dat mermaid
No need to be afeared
I’ll rescue you
With my scuba gear
And that cool spear shooting gun
I’m staying overnight at the Radisson
Everyone will cheer
When I rescue you with my scuba gear
You’ll be one rescued ass mermaid
And I’ll be wearing scuba gear
A yo-yo strike to take down a gangster
A snake fight, so take up the slingshot
A solo mission with no eskimo accolades
‘Til the way is clear
Save dat mermaid
Can’t find the vine down which I’m ‘sposed to climb
I have a hammer, but only on the inside
Tests of strength and of mind all serve to hide the way
But the goal is clear
Save dat mermaid
A yo-yo strike to take down a gangster
A fuckin’ snake, so boomerang the blindspot
A solo mission with no eskimo accolades
‘Til the way is clear
Save dat mermaid
Can’t find the vine down which I’m ‘sposed to climb
Slappin’ old men because it makes me feel fine
Tests of strength and of mind all serve to hide the way
But the goal is clear
Save dat mermaid
That game was fucking hard
-
Wearing A Star Trek Uniform, Watching Tony Lechmanksi Sleep
Ego Likeness was gonna stay at my place
I like those guys a lot
And their music is ace
Donna has a voice from outer space
And Steven has a cool beard on his face
But Dave called up
And this is what he said
"Bella Morte is crashing with you guys instead"
The band came over
And they were super cool guys
But one of them was slated for a surprise
He plays guitar for Bella Morte
And his name is Tony Lechmanski
At night I put on a Star Trek uniform
And watch the man sleep
Okay, that only happened once
‘Cause he was only at my place one time
But Tony, you’re welcome whenever
I’ll read you fan fic about Seven of Nine
He looked so precious
When he was alseep
Like a little punk rock angel
Or an itty bitty tribble
Or a baby gorn
Or a Jesus in a mangerAt one point in the night
He opened his eyes
And I thought he was gonna get mean
But I just backed into my room
And whispered "This is all a dream"
He plays guitar for Bella Morte
And his name is Tony Lechmanski
At night I put on a Star Trek uniform
And watch the man sleep
Okay, that only happened once
‘Cause he was only at my place one time
But Tony, you’re welcome whenever
We’ll write fan fic about Optimus Prime
-
Drunk Cuts
Drunk cuts are cuts
That you get on your hands
When you are all inebriated
They go unnoticed
Until the next morning
When's intoxication's abated
You might have tripped up some stairs
Or taken a spill
Or tried to open bottles you thought were twist-off
Or broken some glass
Or bitten a hangnail
Or punched a door because you were pissed off
Drunk cuts
Drunk cuts are cuts
You also get on your legs
If you've fallen down and scrapped up a knee
Or you might get drunk cuts
If you fall off the hood
Of the car on which you were taking a pee
Or your flesh might get seared
With demonic messages
That happens sometimes when you're possessed
And you might nick yourself
While you're buying some chocolates
For your girlfriend because she is the best
Drunk cuts
-
Voicebox Botox
Carnivorous beats and
Caliginous meat
Elective dentistry
Ingest the enemy
Carnivorous beats and
Caliginous meat
Devour my feet
Carnivorous beats and
Caliginous meat
A vicious enterprise
Lightly tenderized
Carnivorous beats and
Caliginous meat
Reheat the concrete
I wanna rock
I wanna
Voicebox botox
-
My Guy Died (Level 12 Human Sorcerer)
We were fighting some trolls
In the warrens below
Getting close to our goal
As far as I know
My dude fails a roll
And it knocks him prone
No standards, moves or minors
I was totally boned
It was a critical hit
From some little minimal shit
When I heard those little dice click
I threw a bit of a fit
Instead of a saving throw
Instead of a glancing blow
No medical skills in tow
I let my character go
My guy died
The coup de grâce came up
On the 20th sideCrit
He had
11 strength
13 con
16 dex
11 int
9 wisdom
23 charismaI play a minotaur now
My guy died
The coup de grâce came up
On the 20th side
My guy died
No death save modifiers
Could be applied
My guy died
That human saving throw bonus
Couldn’t save me this time
-
You Have Found the Hawk’s Claw
This wand in my hand
In this mystical land
Enchant & distract
A draconic attack
You have found the hawk’s claw
On a quest
You have found the hawk’s claw
On a quest
Time to cast a magic spell
On a chest
You have found the hawk’s claw
On a quest
Hunting down thieves
And ladies in leaves
Portals & runes
Ice arrow harpoons
You have found the hawk’s claw
On a quest
You have found the hawk’s claw
On a quest
Time to cast a magic spell
On a chest
You have found the hawk’s claw
On a quest
You have found the hawk’s claw
On a quest
You have found the hawk’s claw
On a quest
I’ve got magic skills
All the way from here to Budapest
You have found the hawk’s claw
On a quest
-
Wildness Acts
I'm out here getting wild like a wild baboon
Always throwing office parties in the filing room
I got a shoebox of receipts from the jet ski place
'Cause i rent jet skis like every day
Gettin' crazy all night long
In gothic clubs
Pickin' daisies with these throngs
Of panda cubs
Kevin Spacey used some tongs
In a British pub
'Cause his steak was well done
And too hot to pick up
I'm wearing wildness slacks
Committing wildness acts
I'm wearing wildness slacks
Committing wildness acts
Guilty of wildness
Guilty of acts
Guilty of wild
NES acts[whatever the hell xero is saying]
Wild to the max with wildness acts
I was experimented on by the government
They tried to turn me into a rubber gent
A rubber gent's a dude who's hella dapper
And can bend in weird ways like he's made of plastic
I'm always back stage at festivals
Getting bonkers with the bands and special guestivals
I prefer my pizza with vegetables
I got like three brain cells left inside my skull
-
Baby Jesus vs. Baby Genius
Two babies had a fight
In the motherfucking dirt
And punched each other in the dick
‘Til their baby nipples hurt
They had a fight
-
The First Band Ever to Play Resistanz Festival (We're #1)
You make a mix tape, you put the best song first
And the guy who wins the race is the one who comes in first
Even though we may not be known as well
We’re still the first band to play Resistanz Festival
We’re number one
You rent some videos, you watch the best one first
And picking kickball teams, you pick the best guy first
The Gothsicles are opening on the first night
Or late afternoon, to be technically right
We’re number one
-
Holy Shit, We're Playing Kinetik
Montreal's got a free for all
In the form of an EBM festival
With terror noise and power noise
And a night of old skool industrial
With food and booze and alcohol
And their beer selection is the best of all
But it looks like someone dropped the ball
'Cause this year's got The Gothsicles
Holy shit,
We're playing Kinetik
(That doesn't rhyme)
Holy shit,
We're playing Kinetik
(With Edgey, Hocico and Dive)
Vasi from Reaper thinks I look like Kurt Russell
Which I don't really get 'cause i don't look like like Kurt Russell
But I do smack hella suckers upside their face
I got hella bad gas, but I start the party in this place
Holy shit,
We're playing Kinetik
(That doesn't rhyme)
Holy shit,
We're playing Kinetik
(With Caustic, Combichrist and Dive)
Holy shit,
We're playing Kinetik
(Still doesn't rhyme)
Holy shit,
We're playing Kinetik
(With Memmaker, ADR and Dive)Holy shit,
We're playing KinetikOn the same stage as Leaetherstrip
And your band if I missed them
-
Jim, Let Me Know When You Can Drink Again
I like getting wild with the occasional beer
And fly on pure grain alcohol like the Rocketeer
But then my wing man
Was taken down at random
I drink up all the Hennessey
Ya got on ya shelf
But I don't wanna do that shit all by myself
'Cause what I'm here to celebrate
Has to happen in tandem
So,Jim,
Let me know when you can drink again
'Cause we'll take it to the brink again
Extreme party stylezz
Jim,
Let me know when you can drink again
'Cause we'll take it to the brink again
Party stylezz for miles
We'll barhop Pittsburgh 'til Monday comes
Drinkin' gin and beer and Everclear and vodka and rum
And hey, since you're back on you're feet, I'll pick up the tab
And when i am sufficiently in party mode
I'll ask you some questions i've been wanting to know
Like why the fuck your band shirt has some chick getting stabbed
Party styles in this place
Party styles in this time
-
Everyone Should Play V:TES ('Cause Somebody's Gotta Be Worse Than Me) - feat. Ben Peal
It's our designated weeknight
Or weekend if you roll that way
I brought a couple a' beers
But save like six for me, okay?
'Cause like an adult swim
I'm always out of the pool
I got an academic hunting ground
'Cause I'm always getting schooled
I've got a history
Of playing inadmissibly
To any tournament I see
'Cause I get killed by Chimerstry
You're thinking moves ahead
I'm struggling with card text
And trying to determine
The effects of Rötshreck
It's got great group dynamics
And that keeps me coming back
Even though all I'm good at
Is the pre-game talking smack
I'll threaten you
With my brand new
Inner Circle Toreador
Then watch you pound me into the ground
With cards from '94I've got a history
Of playing inadmissibly
To any tournament I see
'Cause I get killed by progeny
You're thinking moves ahead
I'm struggling with card text
And trying to determine
Rötshreck's effects
I've got a history
Of playing inadmissibly
At every tournament I see
'Cause I get killed by Thaumaturgy
You're thinking moves ahead
I'm struggling with card text
And wondering what horrid combo
You'll throw at me next -
INFL8-R
Subterranean
Exterminator
I'm witnessing you destroy
Low-res
Low-lives
With the brutal means that you employ
Incendiary
Reptilians
And those goggle-headed red round guys
Broken skin
From within
Leading to internal pressure demise Inflate
Your enemies until they
Disincorporate
Your hi-score means explode and
Annihilate
All you pursue because it's
Mr. See
Mr. Do
You're through
In these earthen tunnels
Video passageways
Only devastation to be found
No Shock G
No Humpty Hump
In this digital underground
Blood in
Blood out
Blood shooting out your eyes
Dig in
Dug out
Out of time and out of extra lives
No reset
No restart
Injected
And torn apart -
Second Album Means It's Too Late to Change Your Band Name
Remember your first email address?
A memory that you might try to repress
'Cause in 2001 at juno.com
You were still known as gothicfairyprincess
And I betcha somewhere you'd wish that you'd changed
But to switch your email is a hell of a pain
Recognition of the name goes down the drain
And the whole thing holds true for band names, too
Second time around means that your shit's solidified
'Cause by the second time around the sound's by name identified
And if you ever sought to alter that, you'd find yourself denied
'Cause by the second time around you've wound the ropes by which you're tied
Second time around
It's constantly happening
Bands always regretting
The elected moniker
By which they monitor
The scene or register as their myspace thing
'Cause I've heard that Tom Shear doesn't like band name
And I've read that Fat Mike has expressed much that same
But both those bands are awesome so it's like, ya know, whatever
So yo, fuck it, "Gothsicles" forever
Second time around means that your shit's solidified
'Cause by the second time around the sound's by name identified
And if you ever sought to alter that, you'd find yourself denied
'Cause by the second time around, that appellation's bound
Second time around means that it's too late to change your band name -
Monster school student bodies always seem to be diverseWith like a mummy and a zombie and a demon student nurse
And a mortician bus driver 'cause the bus is a hearse
But one type of monster always has it the worst
'Cause the werewolf guy's gig is to howl at the moon
And the vampire kid can make the ladies swoon
But you'll always wait for 3 in the afternoon
If you're the fish kid from the black lagoon
'Cause you need
Water to breathe
Can't take french 3
Amphibiously
Were you a zombie fish boy,
Well then I 'spose it wouldn't matter
As the undead do not require a breathing apparatus
But I've never seen a revenant complete a swan dive
Fish men maybe monsters, but they're clearly alive
Can't be a football star like frankenstein
The impact would surely crack your fragile spines
Can't be in the school play with the opera phantom nerds
'Cause your aquatic vocal chords can't ennuciate words
Can't get a steady girl or friend with benefits
'Cause no lady likes a guy who's been a fish
But as marine based life, you can still take pride
In fearing no swirly or bubbler ride
'Cause you need
Water to breathe
Can't take trigonometry
Amphibiously
Were you a zombie fish boy,
Well then I 'spose it wouldn't matter
As the undead do not require a breathing apparatus
But I've never seen a revenant complete a swan dive
Fish men maybe monsters, but they're clearly alive
And I'm glad they're not zombies
For I confess
That I'm WAY DONE WITH ZOMBIES
But I digress
The point is that school will make you depressed
If you've got gills on your face and scales on your chest
-
Dragon FeetYou die
Texas Boots
You die
Zeus' Wand
You die
Life meter undermined
Javelin Man
You die
A Grand Slam
You die
Fatal Steps
You still die
In the absence of supplies
No time to fuck about
Max power is maxed out
Karma Jolt
Flip for it like Acro Circus
Mightier than any Zerg rush
Karma Jolt
The smiles are free
But the death is still cheap
If restoratives
Are not what you keep
Against the Jocks
You die
Against the Squids
You die
Against the Mob
You die
Coinage bisectified
Against the Plague
You die
Against Cowboys
You die
Against Homeboys
You still die
And you only get one guy
No time to fuck about
Max power is maxed out
Karma Jolt
Healthier than brussel sprouts
Max power is maxed out
Karma Jolt
Tricklin' down ya throat
With a Karma Jolt
Drink it up
Just one taste
Of that bubbling karma crude
Is complete stamina points
So you disarm a dude
And take all of his change
After he's ceased to be alive
And walk up to the counter
And drop $15.25
A jolt of karma in the arm allows for furtherance of harm
A jolt of karma in the arm allows for furtherance of harm
A jolt of karma in the arm allows for furtherance of harm
A jolt of karma in the arm, a karma jolt
-
Like a corrupt data compilerWe're gonna mess up
That ball of fire
Douse the power it requires
Video games all day
No prior
Kulcha
Was ever glare free
Those little light bursts
Bouncing off the screen
Annoying
To the nth degree
That's why the sun is gonna get one toll free
Bomb blast
In the precise vicinity
To nullify negative charge
For all infinity
Cascade effects
Chain reactions
Atomic level annihilation
To eff the sun
Eff the sun
Anti solar sentiment
Is nothing new
But my ostentatious arguments necessitate review
My chief argument is
That the sun eats poo
And all gets up in my eyes
When I play faxanadu
And through
A telescope
I calculate
The absolute destruction of all solar real estate
And wait
While the platform rises
With more destructive force than 8 starship Enterprises
But crap
The hydraulics are broken
Need to call tech support at the place I bought it from
But the guy on the line is a freakin' jerk
Man, I just need the lifting platform to work
Reboot the machine, wait the for start up chimes
Alright we're all good, now it's finally time
Eternal darkness
'Cause the sun's all charred
Put the text of this song on a V:TES card
Eff the sun
-
BAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLSSSS (Prometheus Burning vs. The Gothsicles)
BAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLSSSS3D circles
Orbs & spheres
In your face
And in your ears
3D circles
Orbs & globes
In your grill
And on your lobes
It's
-
mindFluxFuneral owes me like $100
Out on my lunch breakHeaded to the Chinese place for some delicious take
Out but to my surprise
I was to be penalized
By a radar pair of eyes
Birthmark playing in the car
That fourth track is
Worth four stars
And then there was that officaaar
Listenin' to mindFlux
And spendin' the big bucks
Pulled over by the law
That ticket was bullshit
And I shoulda fought it
But it was in Waukesha
But the point is you made me
'Cause that songs kicks crazy
Much amounts of ass
Thereby, I attest to thee
You're an accessory
To my driving slightly fast
So this one's on you
This one's on you
Then years later at Chicago's Darkroom
I'm approached by a singer guy I recognize and subsequently with whom
I converse & try to get reimbursed
To get some money back into my wallet
He's like "Huh?" I'm like "Yeah" he's like "No" I'm like "Cool"
"'Cause i was just kidding about it"
He's like "Dude man, that sucks, and you're not alone.
Skinny Puppy's had me passing dudes in no passing zones.
So here's some advice of comparable value:
Write about that shit"
...I think i'll write about that shit.
AND I TEAR YOU APART (lyrics from mFF's "Dream It Dead", the song this song is kind of about)
-
Freaking out
Getting wild
Getting wild
Freaking out
Freaking out
Getting wild
Getting wild and freaking out
Ramp the wacky up
Nine dudes freaking out
And going berzerk
Nine dudes throwing down
And going to work
A small percentage of the place
All getting wild
A booth in the back is where the coats are piled
Shake your sillies out
It's what I'm all about
Basic masonry
Requires grout
A small percentage of the place
All getting wild
By the 14th of April
Have your taxes filed
The next morning, go out
Get you something to eat
Oh man, mimosas and a hostess cake or
Breakfast burrito
And it's only when the server staff
Shows up with your food
That the door gets knocked down
And in rush nine dudes
-
I Thought the CD Player Was Broken...But it was Just a Cyanotic Song (feat. Cyanotic)
Hey, what's that noise?
The CD player's busted
Or the CD's scratched up
And shitcake encrusted
Oh wait
It's just on shuffle
And a Cyanotic track
Is causing kerfluffles
With stuttery takes
And skippery sounds
They wouldn't take this CD
At the Disc-Go-Round
'Cause they only stake stuff
That's free of scratches
And after a second of this
My ear lobe detaches
It's like Pantera at a hip hop show
Or terminators driving down a bumpy road
Or Robocop with a ruptured spleen
Or someone who's role model is a machine
Hey, you know that one Cyanotic band?
They're the guys with the moving keyboard stand
We're doing a collab with them on our second disc
And the lead singer sounds just like this
We're doing a collab with that Cyanotic band
Careful, keyboard guy, or you'll crush your hands
It just might be the hottest track on the disc
And the lead singer screams just like thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-i-i-i-i-i-s
-
Everybody's all takin' 'bout DEATHKEY
But I don't even know what that means
Is it music? No, it's too noisey
DEATHKEY
Some guy all tryin' to be creepy
Posting his rants and bandname repetitively
From his parents' basement, on his mom's PC
DEATHKEY
I'm on the Side-Line boards
I got machete swords
Express my mental block
By way of Caps Lock
It spread across the web like it was grape jelly
It's everywhere like ninjas and zombies
So viral, the doc just diagnosed me
DEATHKEY
Now every morning my inbox is at capacity
I look why and then I cry "ZOMG"
A thousand blog comments and this is how they all read:
DEATHKEY
I'm on the Side-Line boards
I got machete swords
Express my mental block
By way of Caps Lock
My bullshit was so extreme,
My band is now an internet meme
So on every forum thread
Forget the topic
Reply with DEATHKEY instead
-
I Can Tell You Shop At Hot(t) Topic
I know where you got that T-ShirtI know where you got those boots
I know where you got that tote bag
Touting your Nintendo roots
And I'm aware of the location
Of just where you got those pants
And the tribute compilation with the
Cleopatra bands, bands, bands
I can tell that you, that you shop at Hot(t) Topic
'Cause you look sorta skater punk rock and 40% gothic
I'm not making any judgments here,
I just know where you bought it
'Cause I can tell that you, that you shop at Hot(t) Topic
I can tell that you, that you shop at Hot(t) Topic
'Cause you look sorta skater punk rock and kinda, sorta gothic
It's not parody or sarcasm
It's only to observe
That the source of your clothes
Is quite easy to discern
-
Arcade alteration's on the menu for tonightAnd Galaga's the target for a massive weapons hike
Still got no up and down flight path, just horizontal scrolling
But we'll still upgrade the armament for outer space patrolling
'Cause tonight we're going overboard, tonight you're getting rocked
Because we've got a firepower surplus to allot
Mosquito alien insectoids are now gonna thrice swat
With one hundred percent acc-u-ra-cy on the dot
Triple shot
Triple shot
You try to defend but you cannot
Triple shot
Three conjoined battleships is what I got
Triple shot
Triple shot
You try to defend but you cannot
Triple shot
Three conjoined fighter ships is what I got
Without connected space vessels, bloodlust goes unassuaged
And mono monster mashing always makes for a "challenging stage"
But despite the symphony of destruction from my two-pronged attacks
True lethal harmony was out because a duet was the max
'Cause only double ships in Galaga could previously be attained
But tonight a new joint wingman to the existing two is gained
'Cause when the forces of the arcade meet our industrial electro
The result is an unstoppable artillery trifecto
Triple shot
Triple shot
You try to defend, but you cannot
Try to get back to the top of the screen:
You get jack squat
-
When you're in a lane
And youSuddenly deviateYou make me feel ashamedFor my ownWisconsin license plateI can't read your mindI'm not inThe Psychic Friends NetworkSo you must signal your directional intentionsOr watch me go berserk(On you)In the lanesYou must signalOn the off-rampYou still must signalYou demonstrate your gaping lack of any driving skill'Cause turn signals are not optionalThe lines on the road areClearly marked, but you'reDrifting like a raftHow did you ever get a valid driver's license?Was it blackmail, bribery or witchcraft?And if the lead guy at the light
Gets his left signal on too late
Make sure you get that blinker on
Before you circumnavigate
This is the type thing that
Shouldn't be so hard
I don't think it's that hard
Is it really that hard?
- All eight bits of meAre solidlyCommitted to side-scrollingAnd no enemiesCan vanquish meOr the power I'm controllingBut I suddenly scream "Shit!""Because my guy has just been hitWith my hits points indicator less than fullBut it's quite inconsequentialAnd my wrath will be torrentialFor the following one secondI am in-vin-ci-a-ble('cause I'm a)One SecondOne Second GhostOne SecondOne Second GhostThe cause of my awesomeNESHas been diagnosed('cause I'm a)One Second
One Second Ghost
Post contact I am flashing
And on the screen I'm dashing
'Cause my time as a specter is so limited
But even though I've just been damaged
I turn that to my advantage
You can't stop this platform gaming rivethead
('cause I'm a)
One Second
One Second Ghost
The cause of your imminent death
Has been diagnosed
One Second
One Second Ghost
You try to do me in
Well almost
You get
Vengeance from the other side
Where pixel poltergeists reside
It's the power you play with
When you play Nintendo
So take this song as a tutorial
For going incorporeal
'Cause if you strike me down
I'll rise like a crescendo
-
Now don't get me wrongWhen you hear this song
'Cause I got five Project Pitchfork CDs on my desk
Playing more than occasionally
XMTP MP3s
But we're the English Police,
and you're under arrest!
First off, the letter "V"
Is pronounced differently
Than the way in which the letter "W" is said
Such linguistic mistakes
Should be harder to make
If you called up an American goth and got your shit proofread!
Chorus:
For crimes of crappy lyrics that don't make any sense
Your judgment has been made and it decrees that forth hence
Project Pitchfork, E-Craft, and Funker Vogt
Your English License has been revoked!
For crimes of crappy lyrics that don't make any sense
Your judgment has been made and it decrees that forth hence
Neuroticfish and E-Craft, and Funker Vogt
Your English License has been revoked!
And I will concede
That I will stomp 'till I bleed
To your music 'cause I'm not a hater
But it's hard sound tough,
Even vocoding wont' be enough,
If your lyrics are written by a first grader
But I'll let you off with a warning
If you promise me one thing:
That you'll figure out what the proper syllables to accent are
'Cause your looped layers of static
Will sound more dramatic
When you don't sing like a goddamn dork...ALLES KLAR?
(chorus)
Breakdown:
Bands are on the run from the grammatical police
For their own good, we gotta find and fix mistakes from Germanese
No more changing words to make a rhyme or rhyming same words twice
'Cause it's possible write a hit were the words aren't sacrificed
Soon we're gonna go put other places to the test
By fixing up their lyrics, Scandanavia is next
Making yudgments on the quality of lyrical esteem
Chopping up shitty lyrics with a guil-e-o-tine
The right accents aren't required to garner our approval
But singing like an idiot means license removal
And I aware of my own lyrical shortcomings
Pronunciation errors that knock me out the running
Saying Funker, not "Foonkah", when I know that that is wrong
Showing blatant hypocrisy within my own damn song
But I'll make an effort and strain
To get it right on the refrain
And here it comes again
So raise your voice (not woice) and sing along!
(chorus x2)
-
The boss isn't looking
So I use my screen
For browsing an online music magazine
And there I see a thing
That I can't believe
There are still band logos made with Ogilvie
'cause me,
I'm something of a typeface connoisseur
I eat chicken wing dings with my font du jour [tofu chicken]
And I can spot your shitty fonts like a cheap toupee
And still blow you away
With my Arial display
And when it comes to fonts,
I annihilate
And when I print my fonts,
I always collate
Some are narrow and condensed,
Others heavyweight
And I'm more gothic
Than any Copperplate
Hey, I've Got That Font
And a full directory of all the TrueType you could want
Hey, I've Got That Font
They used Alleycat to advertise that local restaurant
Hey, I've Got That Font
With bolds and italics from here to Vermont
Hey, I've Got That Font
Creepygirl and Rockwell, I'm a fuckin' font savant
There are so many fonts that I recognize
Zoom in all you want, they won't pixelize
'Cause I know the good shit from the replicas
I'll see you in Helvetica
and then a
Big fucking axe will cut off your hands
You used to be serif, but now you're sans
And I got plans to make that font
Used by Mickey D's
I'll trace it out with the blood
From where your hands used to be
I customized a font so each serif ends in a hook
But your custom font looks like gobbledygook
And that's not Eras Lite but Eras Medium that you mistook
And I'm more gothic
Than any Franklin Book
Hey, I've Got That Font
And a full directory of all the TrueType you could want
Hey, I've Got That Font
They used Alleycat to advertise that local restaurant
Hey, I've Got That Font
If there was a typeface army, then I'd be the commandant
Hey, I've Got That Font
I sell 'em to pay off my Mitsubishi Galant
Morpheus
Times New Roman
Ultraworld
Bookman Old Style
Garamond
Liquidism
Comic, Bloody, Impact
Verdana
Goudy Stout
Century Gothic, Bauhaus
Joystix
Buffy
Liquidism 2
Metal Lord
Courier New
-
Mix This Song Into A23's "Maps of Reality"
If you're gonna get paid
For playing other people's music
You'll probably wanna add some zing
And here's one way to do it
And I know that fancy mixing
Doesn't always make a good DJ
But still, my mom could put a CD in a deck
And make it play
"Maps of Reality"
By Assemblage 23
Has the same BPM
And is in the same key
As the track which you are hearing now
It's Beat Match 101
We'll synchronize
The song's reprise
And then we'll have some fun
Because it's like a paint by numbers
Except for the DJ booth
Because a pause that lasts two seconds
Just sounds sloppy and uncouth
We'll make a beat match so precise
You'll leave the dancefloor thunderstruck
Because our mash-up will be organized
And not just sheer (Shear?) luck
"Maps of Reality"
By Assemblage 23
Is the subject of this mix
Because I think that song is neat
So whoever's at the decks,
Prepare to bring the real beat back
And cue it up to 9.7 seconds into the track
Because it's like a paint by numbers
Except for the disc jockey
'Cause two shoes in a dryer
Pisses off my Tamagotchi
But train wrecks can be avoided
And we're here to show you how
So miss or mister DJ,
Drop the beat...*NOW*
Main synth in 5 4 3 2
And cue Tom's vocals
We'll end this shit when we reach the chorus
-
Better Versions By Other People
Better versions byOther people
Bigger beats and better synths
And at least twice as evil
Probably gonna overshadow mine
But it's worth the risk
Just to get a few more tracks
On this goddamn disc
Better versions by
Other people
When other people do the work
It turns out much less feeble
Should you hear this CD in a club
It should be no surprise
It's gonna be one these tracks
By these other guys
-
Who is this band?I never heard them beforeMust've snuck into InfestThrough the back doorAnd now we're on the billThat your admission paid forSo excuse me for a second while i freak out hardcoreHoly shitHoly shitHoly shitWe're playing InfestTwo Nintendo nerdsFrom the American midwestHoly shitHoly shitWe're playing infestI can't believe it eitherIt's like we're dream achieversWere this is television i would adjust my receiverNeither rain nor sleet nor ice nor snowCould keep us from this showWe'd even take a flightThat's flying into Heathrow
Last night I got so anxious
I threw up and made a mess
And now we're here to commandeer
The fruits of your interest
Get ready for
The final inquest
Holy shit
Holy shit
Welcome to Infest
-
Theme From "So You've Decided To Become A Goth"
Congratulations, I hear you're goth now
But if you are just tuning in
Well let me tell you how
To be all creepy
Industrial and gothic
Just have a seat and
Rewatch the filmstrip
So you want
So you want to become a goth
Discover 80s icons apart from David Lee Roth
And other things that you learn when you become a goth
Not quite emo-ite
Poseur or nu-metal
And is here underscored
By Hanzl und Gretyl
So stayed tuned in our seriesOf gothic educationNext we'll cover hi-hats, kick drumsAnd arpeggiationSo you want - So you want to become a gothDiscover 80s icons apart from David Lee RothAnd other things that you learn when you become a goth
So you want
So you want to become a goth
Hear music colder than ice planet Hoth
And other things that you learn when you become a goth
Or buy Funker Vogt instead
To become a rivet head
Order now for a free DVD
Of Dawn of the Dead
-
Contra! 30 Guys!
Enter in this code for thirty lives!
Contra! 30 Guys!
Punch in the code for thirty lives!
UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT B A SELECT START
Contra! 30 Guys!
The following code makes the body count rise!
-
Micah! You look like-ah
Streetfighter!
Micah! You look like-ah
You're 16 bits on a Super Nintendo!
You spike your hair in such a way,
It's blonde and sharp and pointy
And it makes me want to say:
SONIC BOOM!
Cruc' Injection!
Entering the room,
Throwing catchy synth hooks at tremendous volume!
Spikey blonde hair that's pointy and well groomed,
You cannot withstand the industrial
SONIC BOOM!
Micah! You look like-ah
Flashkicker!
Micah! You look like-ah
You're gonna hit M. Bison with a medium punch!
You spike your hair in such a way,
I hold back for two seconds
Push forward and A!
SONIC BOOM!
-
Autobots are going down
'Cause there's an evil giant robotic
New kid in town!
Constructicons
Form to create
The amalgemous monstrosity that Autobots hate!
Right arm is formed by Scavenger!
Left leg is formed by Mixmaster!
Scrapper, Long Haul, Bone Crusher
Make up the rest!
Hook creates the head that heroes detest!
DEVASTATOR!
Constructicons in battle
With the Dinobots!
They kick and claw and tear and share
Commercial spots!
But the forces of evil
Rule the scene
With an iron fist
That's purple and green!
Right arm is formed by Scavenger!
Left leg is formed by Mixmaster!
Scrapper, Long Haul, Bone Crusher
Make up the rest!
Hook creates the head that snaps on to his chest!
DEVASTATOR!